Winter of '06,
couldn't tell the difference
between the snow and the blow,
as it was both in mass quantity.
An avalanche of white chaos
spewing from the mantel piece.
And when we needed fire
to warm our frantic bones
we turned to the stove
baked skin and apple pies
that no one ate.
We trimmed away the cut
from the powder and our egos,
making sure all we inhaled was clean
and natural.
In our secured crew of fiends,
there was Lane, the Land Lord,
puking monotonous tales he doesn't recall
telling before.
His mind wraps around cold case memories
clings to past glory,
keeps buffing his sports trophies
which reflect the shadows of bags packing
themselves in under his blue eyes.
He reached out to me
but I had not the heart to tell him
that I was sinking too.
We went in rounds
like a confession class
for recovering alcoholics
only we had just begun.
The crisp blanket of white
was our excuse to stay in for the night,
for the day,
and on, and on.
Spilling religious lore into our laps,
threatening our inherited beliefs
shaking a fist in the faces
of those who spite our habits.
While we pushed God further away
unintentionally,
like our dinner when we were finished.
It was not as if we did not want anymore
there was just no room for it in our lives.
The numbing drip took hold of our lungs
held hostage in the moment,
and we forgot yesterday,
let go of our promises we had made.
I told my legs to stop shaking
it was my only hope for relaxation,
but there was no release,
no calm after the storm
just endless racing
and craving ravenously for more
until the crystals stopped falling
and realization fell in chunks of hail
instead.
Author notes
number- 8
In a list
- MY FAVORITE POEMS TO READ (other authors) • next in list
- Shiny Gold • next in list
- Alter Egos • next in list
A contest entry
- The White Card - Invite Only by Dalaney.
900 points, ended August 18, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want Gold Trophy Winners Judged by RedwingSpirit.
900 points, ended January 11, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
alexandrathegreat Awesome poem Dear well deserving of Gold I wish you the best of luck in my contest Thank you for entering
-
sounds like the cast partys I used to attend where they went on for three days cause no one was aware of times passage, enveloped in a haze of smoke and snow, laughing uproariously
or nodding out in a mellow yellow sunbeam on the sunporch for hours listening to the world hum, great write, nostalgic or should I say nostrilalgic for sure. lol..~~~Artis -
whew! this is awesome...
quite a scene... I want to be enveloped in it and run from it all at once... a fucking incredible write... intense, emotional, empty, vast... the last stanza is quite an original winding down, but still climactic... this piece has managed to satisfy most of my senses...
-
Yaaayyyys - you're a winner!
Thought - anyone who read this, is also - yaaaaayyyys - we alll win!
Well done wonderful. More than deserved and all I can say is that Lane is lucky she rated this above mine ... or I .. or I would have ... there would have been consequences ... I'd have .. I have - gone or pouty or something!
-
Congrats on the well deserved gold!
-
wow. You are taking the reading on the merry go round with this one. Awesome work here poet. Best of luck in the contest.
-
melding into everything...
Ruinous design and the senseless isolation of the white powder world. Nothing’s what it seems to be. There are some excellent dips, bends and snorts in the whole of this measurable piece. Ah, the redundant jittering stories that make less sense over time, and the chronicled annihilation of veins, arteries and hearts. What could be worse than smoking? An excellent story spread out on the cleanest of picnic blankets. ~ EZB
http://www.moodgroove.com
-
i loved every line of this. i was trying to pick a few that i liked most but i wouldn't let myself. I think i've read this about 5 times and bookmarked it so that i can read it even more time.
-
"between the snow and the blow,
as it was both in mass quantity."
Perfection.
-
Toe tag memories tickling toes
Body bag zipper stuck
Oh, the damn luck
Compliments of Medellin
Bogota's finest
But now, 90% comes
From Afghanistan
Ever see a dragon missile
Take out an entire truck
Of blow?
Bitching, Apaches do it
Better, damn stuff all
Over the landscape
Chickens, cattle, dogs
Pigs, children, they're
All exposed
But its okay,
Its just money
and Daddy
needs the money
-
Some mind-blow metaphor though very witty analogy here. The dinner-plate-pushing is my favourite (at this moment) though that is likely to change, given there are so many others
-
puking monotonous tales he doesn't recall
telling before.. haha, thats a nasty trap isn't?
I think this a wonderful bit of poetry here. Very breathable indeed. It had an almost effortless efficiency in its flow and the analogies have a depth that are truly accesible
Spilling religious lore into our laps,
threatening our inherited beliefs
shaking a fist in the faces
of those who spite our habits.
While we pushed God further away
unintentionally,
like our dinner when we were finished.
It was not as if we did not want anymore
there was just no room for it in our lives.
I love the truth and pure relatability of this section. I would advise maybe just a slight review and a little work on the punctuation, but overall an excellant piece.
-
Good. Real Good
Thanks for welcoming me on my first night. Compromise?
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
