rose to meet
winter dawnlight--
rose thought-wisps
almost-there-not-quite-not--
rose a pale
rush to greet
dawnlight fingers
through black-green
cypresses
green-black yews
tombstone tall--
rose and fell
in
thin
misty fingers stretched
to snare my soul
A contest entry
- closes soon by Melissa Gayle.
500 points, ended August 10, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Points taken. Wearing one of my poetry hats, I tend to revert to the Old English habit of coupling words to generate a meaning that extends beyond any of them individually, and also tend to overdo it. I'll think about them in this piece.
As to meaning...mostly it is trying to capture a particular dawn-moment when something like a ground fog seemed to rise toward the sky in wispy pillars. It passed within moments, and all that remained was the sequence of images that became the poem.
It's a troublesome piece, but seemed (to me at least) to say what I wanted at the moment.
Thanks for the comments. -
I am not sure how I feel about this piece. I don't necessary like the line breaking and your use of hyphens, but those may be considered personal choice.
I believe it has potential but I am not quite sure I grasp the meaning, aside from some lovely images.
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