O mama, mama
hanging up umbilical cords
that the doctor forgot to cradle.
Her quarter moons unkempt;
and the candy-cane lady aides her grieving
tiny bottoms not slapped.
Poor little undone buns
with smiling crooked slits.
The oven bled you to ashes;
and your crumbs scatter
across four corners of grass.
Your germination floodgates break
and empties half-dilated fruits
into our blackened harvest baskets.
The sun shies away from us
the afterbirth-colored eclipse
streaking dents in our field.
Author notes
This is about miscarriages. I was inspired to write this after looking at a contest on here; and I saw an example discussing a miscarriage. (If you are reading this, I'm working on my entry.lol) It made me think about all the dead children that was never born to my Little Mama. My Little Mama was my auntie that just passed away. She had no children; but she had alot of miscarriages. She was like a grandma to me; and a mother to my own mother. Little Mama and her husband helped raise my mother; and I've always been their grand.
I’m 25 or under
A contest entry
- fingerprints, love lined skin, and liquid rainbow tears by Weetzie bat.
1750 points, ended August 9, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANOTHER CONTEST BY 203;203;203;203;203;203;​​;̴ by Aurielle.
300 points, ended August 29, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 25 and under by silverscent.
460 points, ended February 12, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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really amzing work
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Powerful
Oh my goodness, this was very intense and vivid. You give each element of this type of tragedy such wonderful wording. Very well done. Congrats on your honorable mention.
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Wow!!
This is certainly heartbreaking and my Godmother also had not children, a lot of miscarriages...also passed away...saddened because she could not carry the fetus past the first trimester...
You have captured the *missing* piece of puzzle where the birth...just not present...
but becomes the past after the fetus is expelled
yet the memory stains like the blood on the walls..
can be bleached but still a hint of residue...
Powerful piece Beautiful!! The blacken harvest baskets
definitely gives an image...with what happens to fruit
when it begins to decompose...go rotten...
Wow! I think the only question for clarity is the
reference in the second stanza...about quarter moons~
which I know You can clarify to me
Again~this one tugs hard at the strings
Congratulations on Your HM
Many blessings to You in the contest
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Quarter = the silver tongs of changing diapers
Moons = many months carrying a baby
The word 'unkept' really emphasize the tragedy. I think that was the meaning when I wrote it.
The pronoun choice was wrong. I should of put 'her'.
I'm glad that you asked. I, otherwise, would of missed it. lol
Thanks mommy!
I'm tired and near brain exhaustion. lol
I saw this; and I thought...She will think that I don't want to tell her.
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That helps me a lot...Thankies
I just had to ask
hehe
Wooooooooo hoooooooooooo
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I'm glad that helped you.
I think it was because I was tired; but I was just confused by a contest.
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Your germination floodgates break
and empties half dilated fruits
into our blacken harvest baskets.
The sun shies away from us
while the wind streaks afterbirth
through the dents in our handkerchiefs.
I loved the last two stanzas!
I've never written on miscarriages..but this is so sad and so beautiful in ways concerning imagery.
The first stanza really captured my attention and made me want to keep reading.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. -
not sure what your meaning or intent is with this. generally I can see through your eyes... then comment. but this is one of darkest pieces I've read from you. what I do gather from this is...
you're speaking of life yet death prevails within.
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*points to authornotes* Ugh. We already discussed this. The conversation in an IM; and I did what you suggested I do.
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No doubt about it - this poem is brilliant. Wow. I'm not the best with critiquing, but even if I was, I can't think of anything that need change.
I have no idea what else to say except well done. Absolutely amazing poem.
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