I'm a s h o o t i n g s t a r,
Passing this planet
A brilliant glow.
(I saved it all up for you)
This is my chance to shine, a petty moment in time.
Gotta make a good impression
Gotta get this right
Of all the stars to wish on
May I be that sparkle in your eye?
You held out your arms as I t u
m
bled down the twilight.
You caught me baby, now don't let go.
This rendezvous, so overdue, so cherished. (You)
Hold on to me,
Wish for Us that the sun doesn't rise and
Wash me out of this midnight sky.
Make a wish
Hold on tighter.
I'm a shooting star
Because I didn't quite make the cut.
But I promise I'll give you everything I've got
and make your every wish come true.
If
(when) the sun comes up I'll be gone
Into the dawn, mourning abroad.
But just for tonight,
may I be the light of your life?
I'm your shooting star trying to hold on.
Author notes
I have nothing to say. I'm feeling lost. I love somebody that I fear I'll never be good enough for.
A contest entry
- Time is Tearing me Away by thorlorn thanatos.
490 points, ended August 11, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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You will always be good enough the person just doesnt see it. You have talent. It may not mean much with a kid saying that but doesnt matter you need to be told that. Dont get discouraged keep writing from saddness anger or happiness its a great fuel for great poetry as for love keep looking you will find the write person again you are always going to be good enough
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mmm
i liked it a lot
so sad, yet with a hint of brightness.
beautiful<3
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Wherever you go
whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
whatever it takes
or how my heart breaks
I'll still be right here waiting for you
It's soooo beautiful. And I can completely understand. I'd like to say that if you don't think you're good enough then you prbably are because you are the one who will NEVER take this person's love for granted. Keep that in mind. Good luck! -
But I promise I'll give you everything I've got
and make your every wish come true.
I love the message and the intriguing flow of this write touching the universal truth of our life..This is an amazing write revealing the beauty of this LOVE just in alluring words..and this is the strength of write..I love this piece..thank you so much for sharing this great write..well done....
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yea i have a friend that i love that i may never even see again....i like the way u wrote this.....in coulums
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Wow! this poem was amazing and it was beautiful as well. I loved the way you writen it too.
Amber
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I love your word choices here. They speak to the very core of my being and inspire my own thought processes just as all good poetry should do. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet. ~Midnight Lace
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wow.
1st off never think that your never good enough. its never true.and secondly this poem is breath taking. stunning darling. -
This is my chance to shine, a petty moment in time.
Gotta make a good impression
Gotta get this right
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well this was a great poem and I do hope that you figure out what that person feels for you. Sometimes WE think we arent good enough for that person yet that person may see us as their dream girl/guy. -
I like it =) a fine use of imagery and beauty. It's a really pure write and you can really feel your longing for this person.
I can really connect to it =)
Thankyou and good luck in the contest
Ryan
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Lovely! Absolutely terrific. Usually poems that have all those spaces and shaped words get a bit on my nerves but you did it so well its just great. I really get the sense of love and longing here. I agree with the comment before that this has a very true tone to it, nothing false.
Don't ever feel you aren't good enough for someone ( besides if you can write poetry like that youre all set. bravo!
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This pulled at my heart strings..
A very.. VERY good write indeed.
Your talented when it comes to using imagery in your poetry, something I find less and less of and more and more of the posers of it.. This was far from a fake.
This was... Raw? Imagery.. Raw passion.. The way you 'Shape' the words to do what you want.. It's something everybody needs to do more of.. YOu don't force them, you bend them, and they go willingly..
God. I wish I was that talented. My words always rebuke me.. Glare, harshly...
Thanks for sharing this piece..
-Danneh
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THank you!!!
OMG thank you so much for the comment! I appreciate it so much. Seeing that this is my first piece in a few years I was expecting anything but such detailed and intelligent remarks! Thanks so much!
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