You turned my sand to pebbles,
pebbles to stones,
stones to mountains.
Stronger I am under your touch.
Enough to lay
protecting shadows to your path,
to open my breast
to feed you.
Stronger I am
your breath my solace.
Under your touch
my legs heavy like pebbles,
my spine crumbles to sand,
shattered.
You built a woman.
In a list
A contest entry
- Sandstone by tara wilson.
1000 points, ended August 8, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contradictory by Danna Hobart.
375 points, ended November 13, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Excellent. -echoes danna's comment-
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You, without your own words? lol
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This is beautiful and profound. Thank you for entering.
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wonderful
i loved this. I think, had I written it - I would have used a word such as liquidated rather than shattered, and followed it with re-formed as woman or then molded from child to woman or my new form - womanhood to follow through on the thought but then maybe you wanted to show the conflict and not resolve it. Perhaps you meant to mean that as a woman she remained shattered? anyway - lots of ways to read this. It is a wonderful poem.
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Outstanding
I especially liked the first stanza in which you create a sense of strenth with original and creative imagery. The last stanza shows the opposite and I got the sense of love also creating a feeling of weakness. This poem has a great flow with a sense of simplicity and charm. Congratulations on the trophy it looks well deserved.
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shining...
you shine, you sparkle, you soar, you... sonja
... what a delight... 
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my solace...
Very deep and thought provoking work poet. A worthy trophy winner indeed! It can be read in a number of ways... but you knew that!
Excellent!
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"You turned my sand to pebbles,
pebbles to stones,
stones to mountains.
Stronger I am under your touch."
I enjoyed this entry so much....such beautiful, excellent poetry here....we can be strong, and in our strength, we allow ourselves weakness...."you built a woman"...very beautiful...thank you
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Excellent!
What a delight to finally see you!!! I have known you for two years and never saw you before! You are just as beautiful on the outside as on the inside! I loved your poem, just simply perfection Good luck in the contest!
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This is beautiful - especially the opening stanza. It immediately drew me in to make me part of this proces of creation, this genesis of a woman. The last line wraps it all up so very well. Wonderful interpretation of the contest theme here - and a joy to read.
~ Nicolette
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EVER SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!
A love that is true will make a person stronger.
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