Aborted by life, exhibited after death.
Viewed like a freak of nature
as I am judged with your finger tips.
For all to see my life’s failures
saturated with arduous tears.
Preserving the pain and the heartaches.
Nakedly I am stripped of all dignity.
Impregnated with the fermentation of my soul.
The imprisoning of my spirit for an eternity.
Leaving nothing to the imagination
of the unpleasantness of death.
Left upon the shelves of darkness
labeled as an un-perishable soul.
Aborted by life, exhibited after death.
Author notes
Code 2007RC082
In a list
A contest entry
- Pic Inspired-- How does this make you feel??? by Soulful Woman.
600 points, ended August 10, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round 1: Something Amazing by lesbian-in-love.
900 points, ended November 6, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This was really quite interesting. This was very well done. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest. You are going on to round 2.
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Awesome!!!
This is an excellent poem. Very well written. I can't exactly say what my favorite part was. Very deep and vivid.
"Viewed like a freak of nature
as I am judged with your finger tips."
I did like how you did that stanza. Very well done. And as i said before. Very vivid and deep. Thank you for sharing this with us. -
Impregnated with the fermentation of my soul.
The imprisoning of my spirit for an eternity.
So very powerful this write is! Very deserving of Gold... I love the visual emotion put into this! Nice work!!
Amber
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This poem
makes me feel like I am floating in a jar of formaldehyde and being ogled by Japanese tourists. A very erotic sensation that disturbs me because I am only 8. Thank you. Bart. -
Congrats on the gold. Well, this was a powerful picture, so how could you help but write a powerful poem? This line sounded almost Shakespearean: "Leaving nothing to the imagination
of the unpleasantness of death." Good work. -
Wow, this is sad. It's also wonderful. Fantastic write. You really let me share the emotion!
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IM super creaped out... and also saddened... I found this work to just blow me away... i think thats where i got creaped out.. Most poets dont blow me away.. I enjoyed the intense imagery and the true sorrow behind the words!! great job poet!!
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Wow. This is absolutely heartbreaking! Your words are so powerful. The whole thing was touching, but the part that spoke to me the most was:
"Impregnated with the fermentation of my soul.
The imprisoning of my spirit for an eternity."
Very deep write, and it definitely deserved the gold. Great job!
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Awesome. Makes me think of a fetus....am I dead on or off? lol. Great write! Thanks for the share!
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wow,,, that really is quite good, in my opinion,,, my mind wants to take it one way and my heart feels something quite different,,, but the picture is PERFECT to not only solidify the message, but to really make it visual. I appriciate being able to read your presentation and am quite interested to look at and read some of your other work... this is all new to me, but am pretty enthused about this site,,, thanks again,,,, good night
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Deep dark and sad but very very good! I love where you went with this
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"Left upon the shelves of darkness
labeled as an un-perishable soul."
that was my fa vorite part
and this is good
i like it
and it makes me think
which is always good. -
Wow!! this is so powerful and sad
These sad poetic thoughts are so emotionally written they made me feel like crying and weeping, so sad and heartbreakinly touching. Such depth of sadness and emotion, you are a heart touching talented writer thank you for sharing Bravo1 Bravo!. Hugs Lady Mak xx
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Not bad ...
not bad at all. However, it's "stripped of all dignity", not "striped". Otherwise, good job.
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i like the theme that you have scripted here, and congratulations on your first gold in previous contest...the picture that has been placed with this allows readers to fixate their imagination on a million different options, and in particular, i thought about the Museum display that toured the nation last year called Bodies...it was found out that alot of the corpses that were used in this display were unknown individuals, and i believe that one conspiracy was that some were criminals, who had their bodies given to science...so all in all, a well thought out entry, and a big thank you for your eye-opening submission
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Wow... this was very intense and emotional... the picture was strange but as the poem was too... it had a sense of extreme emotion. You're a very passionate poetess. Wonderful job yet again.
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This can be view in many ways by the reader.
exhibited after death makes me think of a funeral. Where we put the person in there Sunday best to be bury. I am not going into a question debate about eternity. Each person has there personal view and feelings about this subject. It also reminds me of someone talking about depression. I like how you let the reader imagination fill the void. Sometime I think write spoon feed the reader it get them lazy. Great work. Wish you the best on the final round.
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omg
sweetie this poem had tears in my tears
so sad and so true...
great and wonderful write!
much love
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second thank you always
your welcome. keep up the good work.
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Amazing
Your philosophic thoughtfullness opens many dimensions of brooding for the readers. The great poem with deep imagination revealing something new regarding mysteries of nature!
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THank you for that outstanding review, Very interesting words you have penned. Thanks again
LISA
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I think this poem has the possibility of being interpreted in many different ways by readers. There is implication of body donation, where a person’s life may be determined from investigation, a life put on show for all to view, then discarded as if unimportant, and I also feel this write could be applied to life in general, that many people feel ‘aborted by life’ rejected by society that can’t or won’t tolerate differences. I think many of the lines could be applied to the inner struggle that people go through, trying to cope with feelings and beliefs when they cannot be openly expressed. Which ever way readers interpret it, I think there is much more depth in this write than the lines on the page and it will certainly give readers pause for thought, especially with the vivid picture accompanying it.
Congratulations on reaching the final round of the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with this entry.
Northern Raven
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Thank you for you outstanding and very interesting review, greatly appreciated LISA
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entranced
The soul is a pop up
The body the cake
At the party of life
The noise brings it awake
The soul decides if the cake is right
The body is the earth dissolving in sight
When God reaches out to the soul in fright
God pushes the body away to make things right
No god would desert it's soul it allowed to have life
For we who believe, trust fully in the creator's knife
And we fear not the cut God's knife can make
We live in his protection & love keeps us awake
nice poem Lisa I gave it three faces. good work.
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Thank you for you outstanding review greatly appreciated LISA
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a"Preserving the pain and the heartaches.
Nakedly I am striped of all dignity. " OH This is soooooo Dam good, was very hard to pick my fav lines...Well well done..Best of Luck!
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Thank you dear for you wonderful comments and review, Well appreciated, It was a very intriguing picture to write for, LISA
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It never ends, even when we are dead, as Gilda Radner said, " IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING" BUT I LIKE what KRIS KRISTOFFERSON WROTE, DYING IS EASY, IT' THE LIVIN THATS HARD. This was a gritty subject but as usual you articulate it in such a way that the aborted mission is a great success.
BLESSINGS DEAR ONE,
LOWELL POE -
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Thank you my dear Friend
Your always so positive and supporting, And yes I pulled it off to the tune of The Gold, I was really shocked because there were so many grand write for this picture, Thank again for you great review and great quotes, LISA
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Nicely Penned...
thank you so much for this si, it's in depthness is wonderful, Im sure you will do very well in this contst.
Thanks for sharing,
Ephiphany
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Thank you sis for you supportive comments and for being there I love you. And I can't complain for I won the Gold with Your positive thoughts, Thank you sis LISA
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I loved the write, baby, but I too am going to be aborted by life and exhibited after death. Old age will get us sooner or later [aborted by life], but I am I body donor as well. That means that I will swim in a pool of ambiotic fluid for a while, and then sent to some college, where they will dissect me. No matter. If there is something in my body that will help with the treatment of others, then it is well worth the trip, if not, then oh well. I won't know the difference anyway.
And....we are all going to aborted by life, either sooner or later.
I love you,
Brazos
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No baby when you go to heaven I will take you in the yellow wagon and bring you to my house just to be close to you. They will have to fight me for you body. That means I will love you even after death sweetness, Thank you for your support love. LISA
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WOW!
Lisa this is a powerul statement
you have made here.
Impregnated with the fermentation of my soul.
The imprisoning of my spirit for an eternity
Excellent, my fingers are crossed
Love ya sis
~sugar~
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I love your review of my write
Well you are a lucky Sister for with your fingers being crossed I won Gold, Thank you for being there sis, Love you LISA
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One word brillant. This should win you gold.I am not kidding.You went the prompt. It fit perfectly. I think yuo should publish it also. I loved the statment. Impregnanted with the fermentation of my soul,The imprisoning of my spirit for an eternity. great job.
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Thank you, Your my precious Son, And your words were heard for it was a Gold win, You are so insightful, I was a tough contest because there were so many grand write on this picture but I pulled it off. thank you for believing in me LISA
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Excellent
Very powerful take on the picture. Best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you so much for you support and great review LISA
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Brilliant take on the picture. Thank you for your entry.
Soulful Woman -
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Thank you so much for the Gold
Wow I was truly amazed for there were so many outstanding write in this grand contest. I read most of them and was well intrigued with the brilliant poets take on the picture. Thank you for you great review greatly appreciated LISA
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