She was such a pretty thing
just sitting over there
I couldn’t help but notice
her fingers all were bare
I set my sights upon her
though my aim was somewhat off
So I took a shot of courage
from the bottle, Smirnoff
Finally I decided
my chance was at its peak
I would see what happens and
beside her took a seat
At first my voice was shaky,
I knew not what to say
She winked as if she knew me
and whispered, “How’s your day”
“I plumb forgot my manners ma’am,
my name is Leo Long.
If you would but oblige me
we’ll dance to this next song”
Her answer was “I’d love to”,
our hands were then to meet
She led me to the dance floor,
unsteady on my feet
“Relax”, she said politely,
“just let the music flow.
It’ll only take a second,
you’ll know which way to go”
Before I knew what happened
her head was on my chest
Some would call it dancing
but that would be in jest
When the music finished
my world was not the same
I looked up to see her leave
and didn’t know her name
The man behind the counter
then offered this advice
“If she was on your wish list
you’d better check it twice”
“The woman is a lady
who does not follow rules
All her would be suitors
are only lonely fools”
Indignant, I then asked him
“What’s a man to do?”
He replied, “I’d leave now
before her man finds you”
I did not want to quarrel
but pondered his concern
I tipped the man a sawbuck,
vowing never to return
He eyed the bill with interest
and said his terse “Good night”
I made my exit quickly,
it must have been a sight
I guess my quest will have to wait
until another day
The quarry’s now the hunter
and I’m the woeful prey
In a list
A contest entry
- Renee's ROUND Challenges - ROUND ONE by poetryality.
1325 points, ended August 15, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This was to good, I loved it! I love it! Wonderfully written. I think it is pretty funny she walked away after you danced with her. Or is this one of your day dreams.
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delightful read
I see you received honorable mention for this one. Congrats!
I see you're still using that poetic talent of yours. Keep on writing and I'll keep reading your stuff.
Take care and God bless, sp
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You are the master of rhyme and storytelling. These are the kinds of poems I love to read aloud to my family members. Your words always bring about a smile to their faces. There was no need to add your name to the author's notes as it was cleverly written in the poem. I am surprised that a charmer like you didn't send the damsel into a tailspin and cause her to change her ways. LOL Just wonderful as always Leo. Thank you for this entry and I wish you the best.
Much LOVE ♥
Renee
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how'd I miss this one?
I loved your poem and the tale it told! Your cadence was so fitting to your words as your story unfolded. You do have a way of sharing that brings to mind how you must share a lot in common with others who have "been there, done that" and you have a good ability to relate those times! Very enjoyable read! joy
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Ah...guess your learning, a missing band means not a whole lot these days. After what's your name, are you married should be the next question. The world has changed Leo....when we weren't looking.
A man that can laugh at himself says much about the man. A man that can write about it says even more. Would make great lyrics, sounds like something Gene Watson would sing about. Good luck in the contest....
~Michelle~
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Great racy poem here, the rhyme scheme is ace too, all in all, a very well written piece Leo. Great stuff. Janice
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How funny this is. You always know how to tell a story so I can see the picture in my mind. What makes it even more admirable is that it rhymes and flows so well. Yet another inspired story. Glad that I came back to this of course.
Congrats on your second book Leo. I can't wait to get my grubby hands on a copy ... -
Ah Leo, my narrative mind ...
immediately thought: the bar tender must be her husband ... but, of course the secret is safe with your Muse?
Another Leo-ism. Good luck in the contest, Friend.
Love
Myra
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