A single note
Rang in the silence.
Then another
And another until
The whole area was
Filled with melodies,
Harmonies,
A few clashes of chimes,
Pings, and pounds from
Nowhere to be seen.
A single woman entered
The scene wearing a
Dark, classy, ballerina's outfit
With ebony, ivy, and silver
Fabrics flowing briefly
Down her bare, ashy legs.
She took a step,
Pausing to gaze
Upon her open,
Silent surroundings.
Backing away from
The opening,
She thought of all
Her suffering,
Her loneliness.
She remembered her
Fun in life,
Dancing like the
Star that she was,
Knowing that it
Was forever over.
She recalled the
Moment that all
Had left her,
The moment she
Was forever abandoned,
When love first
Deserted her.
She evoked her
Memories of all the
Hate she'd received
Over her long
Years of isolation
From happiness,
From any ecstasy.
She inhaled steadily,
A lonely tear,
Like herself,
Escaping from her
Glinting eyes
That were as the
Space in front
Of her- empty.
She examined her
Environment one last
Time to appreciate
The beauty that she
Hoped would remain
In the cruel world,
To make some elation possible,
Making it bearable.
At least for some.
She began dancing,
Twirling with
Excellent posture,
Creating the moves
As she went,
Went away from
Her loneliness,
Her agony,
Hopefully to
A heavenly paradise.
She whirled around expertly,
Having been dancing all her life,
But never with such allure,
Such beauty, such passion!
She danced her heart out!
Finally, she moved swiftly,
Leaping out,
Reaching to the
Clouds that began
To pour glimmering jewels
Onto her face,
Her outstretched limbs.
She kept her position,
As if one was holding her
High up on a stage.
She felt the wind
Graze her face as
She glided through
The clear, refreshing air,
Imagining an audience
Cheering her on,
The cliff's side
Invisible in her fantasy.
Here, now, she knew
She would have bliss,
Forever dancing in the
Infinite ballet.
Author notes
IAmTheMind
Bloodletter68
"Tear Drop"
Option #3 (muffingirl)
"drug cocktail"
"RULES"
In a list
A contest entry
- IAmTheMind by Improv Machinery.
490 points, ended August 29, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [Come Undone] by whiterabbit..
450 points, ended August 27, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best Poem by AshtrayBaby.
2100 points, ended August 22, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Candy Coated Lies && Acid Tears by ThnxsForTheMmrs-x-.
425 points, ended August 23, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - challenge. by Hermit Risin.
300 points, ended August 28, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A contest for everyone by wingsofgold25.
600 points, ended September 1, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options--Please Enter by LunaAmara.
600 points, ended September 3, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
The monsters are almost on me!!!!!
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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well done! i like the imagery in this
-
Very well done. A little hard to tell if She was happy or sad at the end. but looking at the bright side I would say she was Happy.
Thanks for the entry Good Luck in the contest. -
Very nicely done!
Although most would say it has an unhappy ending, I enjoyed the read. Keep writing and Best of Luck in the contest!
Maureen
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Dispite the negative feedback I read
I thought this was beautiful.
I like your discriptions.
I didn't like the form of the poem.
it felt more like if you placed each line next to each other it'd make a better story then a poem, but it was lovely non the less.
good write.
:]
|aiko|
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Wow
I need to sit here awhile and reflect on all I read. WOW! Breathe taking. I'll get back to you after I have absorbed it all.
-
I wrote a dancing poem once. It was hard. So, I feel your pain. Well, it wasn't that hard but it wss sort of hard. And it definently wasn't as long as this.
Anyways, I really liked this. It was very emotional and, I don't know, great, I guess.
I don't know what to say any more. -
Very good,, and differnet,, and into depth. this was fillied with passion,, and dramatization,, it was beautiful,, and had anice flow.. i like how it begain slsow and seemed to pick up pace about half way threw,, very good indeed,keep up the great work,, and i look forward to reading more,, thank you very much for sharing
kaydee
ps,, keep the love and emotion alive ,, never let the ink die
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Oks, this is an exclent poem, but I just wasn't drawn into it... sorry... but again exclent!
Blessed be
Mystic -
This is really great and I love the vivid imagery and descriptions. The only question I have is on this line
With ebony, ivy, and silver, did you mean ivy(like the plant) or ivory? Anyway this is really great. Such a beautiful poem, I love this. =]
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Awesome ending, brilliantly worded, I feel some of the other parts are a little too lengthy or not flowing enough but I do think a rough edit could fix it up perfectly.
Thanks for entering.
Much luck.
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Great write! I really enjoyed reading this poem. It was long yet you kept my interest through the whole thing! I also really like the picture you chose as well! Thank you for entering! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!
-Steve- -
Dancing words
Dancing away the pain,Lovely as you are my dear,thank you and good luck!
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WOW !!
This is so special. Passionate, sad and hauntingly beautiful. It made me think of Giselle, the ballet. As she commits suicide too. An amazing piece of writing which I loved. I wish you all Good Luck in the contest. All my very best wishes Rose xx
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WOW !!
This is so special. Passionate, sad and hauntingly beautiful. It made me think of Giselle, the ballet. As she commits suicide too. An amazing piece of writing which I loved. I wish you all Good Luck in the contest. All my very best wishes Rose xx
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this is everything i thought it would be. when i wrote a poem with the same title i wrote it about playing my guitar. i wish i could have spun such an eloquent image filled tale. you totally blew me away. i found myself crying a little bit towards the end, but thats a good thing. thank you very much for entering and i wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Rob
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Sorrowful and elegant, felt so much loss and pain, to dance to die for ever combined, excellent idea's put togethering in flowing lines, life and death dancing to a tune of memory's excellent poem, well worth the read, thank you for sharing.
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