Crumpled leaves, seeded grass
Two blood shot eyes; one thought’s impasse
Sign posts with no words to spare
A 100 k flash in a rear view mirror
Hind sight blues and ghost wrapped skin;
A fish bowl smile of beer glass grins
−Frayed braided fingers form the fin
Of feigned touches strained far too thin
A crocheted heart wrung out again;
Can blood-stained lungs kiss oxygen?
An apparition of the eye
−A glowering sun in a cloudless sky
When avenues just run like streams
Down the cheeks of cities exhausting dreams
From chimney stacks of childish spires
That twirl away in smokeless gyres
There is no fire
There is no fire
Running down these ghost soaked streets
With mask in hand; too veiled to meet
−No names in mind; all roads unwind
Down trash piled streets; our daily grind
We’re notchin’ out a centre line
Every speed bump one another’s spine
Feel the rubber, tease the brakes
The smell of every worthwhile mistake
Tangled memories− chain-link fence;
A tunnel vision of pretense
Diamond grids of worn-out grays
Fermented to the mature haze
And now we’re running down Ghost Street
Wearing asphalt shoes upon our feet
We try so hard not to look back
But every street is a cul-de-sac
Author notes
Sorry Autumn Blood (cool name btw!),
I know rhymes ain't always your thing... sometimes I can say what I want to without having to... others times not. It's always just a combination of feelings and mood... for me. I can't believe the number of entries you got. Wow! Good on you.
Kj
PS. I think your next name should be:
"Ever-Changin' Epithet"
(and I mean 'epithet' in the context of a graphic, vivid verbal description.)
A contest entry
- "Felt" poetry. ONLY by shirk.
1500 points, ended October 8, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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great read
enjoyed reading.
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Not sure what I can add to the previous comments. It was an enjoyable read. I agree it reminds me of Silent Hill in a sense. Very well written with rhythmic flow and smoothness. I loved it.
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Wow, if this doesn't place, I'm going to murder Danielle (Autumn Blood). Not really, but she will get a tongue lashing - and not in a weird kinky way either. >_<
Anyway, onto this AMAZING STUPENDOUS poem;
I think this takes the cake for the most brilliant piece of art on this site. I love this. For me, the rhyme doesn't even get in the way. As always, your use of language always makes the fluidity of the rhythm move perfectly throughout.
"Hind sight blues and ghost wrapped skin;
A fish bowl smile of beer glass grins
−Frayed braided fingers form the fin
Of feigned touches strained far too thin"
This entire stanza causes me to be speechless. It's flawless, and it has imagery to die for.
For me, this reminds me of Silent Hill, only a lot more beautiful and melancholy - poetic and directed.
This piece is the epitome of poignancy.
It reminds me so much of trying to escape every part of who you are, and where you came from, and yet, it always seems to stick to you.
Love X 1,000,000.
Excellent piece.
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Thanks so much,
your comments mean a lot to me
Love x infinity (try to beat that)
Kj
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ROFL. I'm hopefully not changing my name again.
And if I do, it'll be "the Bone collector"
Bwahahahaha.
But I'm not sure.
Should I?
I'll comment further later. I'm just skimming at the mo'
yo.
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