Still..

Still my beating heart be___Still...
Quiet__my river runs deep_and stagnant like a Dead Sea's calm,
thick, beautiful, righteous and lifeless...
Only he can reside here
and I find it ironic that_you can fill bodily organs like bags and risk slow death by not letting go.
Strong enough to say goodbye but to weak to speak hello_again to my friend...
Still trying to hold onto the last breath I took in___his presents...
Still trying to keep my past in my present__to__ seperate lament from resentment and acknowledge the fact that I make earthly affairs appear to be heaven sent...
Coincidently, even he called it destiny.
So what is that if not heaven sent???
Though preachers preach that things like these are hell bound in every sense___true teachers versed me well in preacher non-sense. So___in things past tense___let us hope that our blessing isn't spent.
Subsequently to what is already done in our ascension and descent .
Still I pray hoping his intentions weren’t indecent... And is so, Jah I forgive h im for his pretense___in hopes that he forgives me...
To so freely deny what is in me so deep. And I’m still tasting those words every time that I speak.
Finding Victoria doesn’t have a thing on the secrets I keep cause I just realized that I’m still_buying my panties with h im in mind.
And he still too often crosses mine, hearing Sade singing, asking "is it a crime" because I still want you...Just as I’ve continued to.
So on and so fourth, four seasons seemingly change but its still earth so does that not mean that it remains the same?
Still me, still consuming moments free pondering great quandaries of revolution and philosophy, trying to cope with the actualities of life.
And my good sistren once said Parmenides was right, still even she found some needed change...
So I feel like maybe even I can count on it one day.
Who is to say what will come or go all I know is that I still think of he...And I know that he still thinks of me because the power generated between us in speech and in-between sheets covering us like Sabbath hymns sung on dirt streets in a summers heat, soothing hot flesh like a July rain...
Still insane like children playing grown folks games of blame, standing still wasting the gift of time___
your thoughts still kiss my mind, haunted by the sound of your lips kissing mine remembering how you taught me that while making love in pure silence even our breaths rhyme...That’s why my hips only wine like that with your riddim ( rhythm ), your being gave them reason___and when the fireworks bring the heat in we both for different reasons will be hoping for the seasons to change...
Maybe a new day in a floral winter...And I will still wonder if things could have been a little simpler___just like h im .
And as I extinguish d im lights for pure darkness and for the night set down my crying quill...Still my beating heart be still...Quiet, stagnant, mind attempting to take returns for the time I spent cause I can't make sense of what I’m left.
And my river runs deep like Dead Sea, and only we reside here...
I still mesmerized by the beauty of blood melting snow, him still liable to faint at the mere sight of the wounds flow.
The opposing signs and characteristics just as beautiful but___maybe that’s why things were so...
And still I remain___still ordained and moribund in my queendom walking on waters of hope attempting to stay afloat___still and unmovable . On that last breath and I’m not letting go of you!
Yes, things could stay the same but when the rain cascades its still whispers to me your name
so I have to believe in the possibly of change____as long as we stand____in-love___Still...