Stick thin and red faced,
he walked alone;
blustering his rage
at this world;
the one he had so faithfully
supported and served.
He had waited for the others,
who mouthed their allegiance,
only to learn
his turn of fate was tied
to those whose hearts
only bleed for self.
(c) Debby Sorensen Carlson
August 07, 2007
Author notes
I saw a homeless man on the street. He looked betrayed, lonely, and lost. This my take on what I felt and saw.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Excellent. Thanks for bringing attention to such a serious problem. Nothing involving human life is ever trivial. It is a shame that there are so many forgotten and passed by in a society with so much waste and extravagance.
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kdom
It is a real shame we do not take care of our own. Thank you for reading and commenting.. and caring.
Blessings. Debby
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your really talented,great.
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TRUTH IN THESE WORDS
YES YES YES!!! THERE IS TRUTH IN THESE WORDS!
THE HOMELESS ARE A NATION'S CONSCIENCE ANY COUNTRY THATPROFESSES TO BEING 'CHRISTIAN' AND YET CAN TREAT IT'S OWN
CITIZENS IN THIS WAY, NEEDS TO THINK ON THE TRUE MEANING OF THE
WORDS OF CHRIST!
'WHOESOEVER DOES TO THESE, THE LEAST OF MY BRETHREN
DOES IT TO ME.'
WAYNE
:):F
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Wayne
Amen Brother !! I have been reduced to tears many times by what I have seen on the streets. In Christ.. Debby
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It's okay
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Eclipse
not really... do you understand how serious our homeless problem is ? But, I am happy you read this and commented. God bless. DEbby
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wow, i love this, this piece is really touching my soul, not very often we think about these unfortunate beings, that need a helping hand. thank you very much for writing this.
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Marc
Thank you so much gor reading and commenting. I just wanted to bring to light those who walk this life alone and un-noticed. It is heartbreaking to say the least. God bless. Debby
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I can't install flash player
I am sorry friend this computer has had it and I won't be able to see the contents of what you write or what I write. I see if my comment shows up after this comment... -
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thank you darryl.. I can see what you wrote and I appreciate your comments. I have not been on much as work has been non stop. Blessings. Debby
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Very beautifully done, at first I thought it was a spiritual piece until I read your author's notes. Your perception to detail is outstanding. thanks for sharing this with me...
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wow, this is nice, but so personal to you is this about your son.
well done.
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Marchtheman
Thank you very much. It is not about my son but about a homeless man I saw on the street. This poem is about what I saw and felt from him. Blessings. Debby
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oh...this reminded me of the the song "what its like" by Everlast...it has that same quality of making one stop and think but this has the added bonus of making the story more personal (since I think everyone knows what it's like to be betrayed)...powerful message, makes me want to know the rest of the story...
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Avendesora
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. Blessings. Debby
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The second verse is what really sells this for me. That begins to tell a story, not only that he's railing against the world, but why? Because his friends cared only for themselves and turned on him. Very well done, so much meaning and power in a rather simple 12 line poem.
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GTseng3
Thank you vey much. I'm glad you were able to hear the story. Blessings. Debby
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good portrayal
sad yet touching....Good observation. It really makes one think. -
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Cherub
Thank you so much for reading and commenting it is much appreciated. And yes, it does make one think. Be well. Debby
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