What lays hidden 'neath these turquoise skies?
The silence that pleads to be heard.
And what's to be gained when the eagle flies?
The desire to do so much more.
What's to be felt from soft crystal rain?
The tragic sorrow when death's near.
What's to be known by life on the plain?
That wonders await aching hearts.
What's to be learnt from fish in the sea?
The smallest can survive this world.
What's acknowledged by leaves of three?
The most unsuspecting is poison.
What is held by a dog that is true?
There really is someone out there.
What could be learned if you open your eyes?
Author notes
~Whitemaiden
A contest entry
- The Random Rounds - Round 6 by Frodofan.
486 points, ended August 26, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Good
Very orginal though I don't quite understand the meaning
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bravo
A very intriguing poem, with some very fine rhyme throught...a fine interogatory... bravo.. bravo..
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What's TO Be Learned by Whitemaiden
Title - 8
Style - 7
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 7
Originality - 7
Reaction - 7
Rules - 10
Makes sense - 8
Enjoyable - 7
Total - 80
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What's TO Be Learned by Whitemaiden
Title - 6
Style - 7
Form - 7
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 7
Originality - 7
Reaction - 7
Rules - 10
Makes sense - 7
Enjoyable - 7
total: 77 -
SCORE
Title - 10
Style - 7
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 7
Originality - 7
Reaction - 7
Rules - 10*
Makes sense - 9
Enjoyable - 8
"The most unsuspecting is poison."
^This line confuses me. Should "unspecting" be "unexpected?"
Score: 83
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The Poetic Bandits reading list
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If we take the time to look with our eyes opened so much is to be learned from each moment. Very lovely sentiments here. I just loved your line "The silence that pleads to be heard."
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We can learn fro meverything around us in the world, the animals, the plants. What a great message. You must be talented to make it to round 6 in the random rounds.
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I love this~ you did a fantastic job~ I loved the way you make the reader think` asking questions ~ AWESOME JOB! WOW~ fantastic write~
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This has a good message, but let's the reader discover that on their own instead of force-feeding it by naming the obvious. I liked the rhyme scheme, did not feel forced, but the rhythm got a little bumpy for me in a couple of places. That might just be my overtired mind tonight though.
In any case, it's a good, solid poem. 
TY for posting and sharing this in the reading room!
Best wishes,
~J.
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I like the question/response format of this poem, it adds mystery and intrigue and definately holds ones interest. Well done my Bandit friend.
Dennis
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"What could be learned if you open your eyes."
I love that line. We all need to open our eyes more in life. Wow, what a wonderful write so full of wonderful imagery and emotion
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Lovely flow and rhyme! These lines especially grabbed me: "What's acknowledged by leaves of three?
The most unsuspecting is poison." It's all too true!
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This poem says so much in question without really saying anything... it leaves the saying up to the readers mind and interpretation.
I did find one small nit that you might want to look at dear.
What could be learned if you open your eyes[. ]
perhaps you meant for this to be a question mark to stay in consistancy with the rest of the poem?
I like that you made this last verse a three liner..
it fades the piece off with that question are your really opening your eyes...do you really see what is out there?
Well done poet!
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Thanks for the suggestion. I took into the consideration for the past couple of days. You were right. I like it better with the question mark too. Thank you.
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That last verse seems incomplete - not sure if that was intentional or not - missing a line it seems. Some great images, and some good rhtyhm and rhyme (and kind of rhyme).
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It is random I'll give you that. But it's strength is it's weakness it feels so random to me I barely got the poem. The imagery is is beautiful put something good in your mind.3/5 I like your name.
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