you WILL make mistakes
and you WILL go through pain
you WILL have it rough
and you'll always complain
you'll lose so all you have
so many times
you'll cut, and you'll bleed
you'll WILL want to die
everyone WILL leave you
everything WILL go
you'll be in pain all the time
in hell on your own
but you WILL find a way
and you DO get it back
you WILL find a love
that's plasters the cracks
you'll see what life is
you WILL learn to dream
have people that care
a life thats supreme
you WILL get her back
it WON'T be the same
but she loves you again
she needs you on the team
you WILL fall in love
just as you give in
so never stop hoping
cos you WILL win
you WILL love him
and he WILL love you
so many tears to cry
but so many joys still left to find
never give up
no matter how it hurts
never stop trying
cos making mistakes is how you learn...
Author notes
i know it's kinda sad...but i actually started to cry when i wrote that...juat brings everything back...that i lost EVERYTHING i had and everyone i loved and i got it all back...but better...i know it might not have that impact on you or anyone else...but it makes me proud of myself...that i have managed to get through it all...and i have a boyfriend who loves me and my friend who used to 'hate me'
A contest entry
- . by Aurora Ceres.
600 points, ended August 19, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I know that you were wanting to put emphasis and 'you will' and 'you won't' and what not but the all caps was a bit distracting and the emphasis comes across well enough with the repetition. There are also a few minor typos and some punctuation is needed too. Would like to see because or even 'cause instead of cos too.
Sorry!
Now as far as the sentiments within your poem....wonderful. Yes, it is very sad but you ended it on such a hopeful and up lifting note, that is great! I am so pleased to know that things have turned around for you.
Thank you for entering and best of luck to you.
Bella
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This is really good.
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And from the ashes a phoenix WILL rise again.
You said words that are so true, and needed to be spoken. Everyone will have felt this at some stage, it's a fact of life, and a learning curve we all go through. We all will return in stature to a higher, stronger, wiser person, only when we feel and see what you have described. An excellent look at 'what would you say', well done.
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Sad? That was full of hope! I loved it! You did an excellent from portraying the depths of sorrow to the highs of stepping over the ashes to start again! This is a great poem about the epic of humanity!
Write oN!
~*~SP~*~
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