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Perfect Silence

 

It was not the absence of all sound
nor utter stillness of the living world
but more a lull that settled to the ground
like mists at sunset by a quiet mere
naked whispers drifting lightly curled
above inverted views of twilight hues
slowly dimming as the stars appeared

It was the fullness of bansuri strains
echoed back from distant points and coves
floating over long collected rains
cradled by the roots of oaks and elms
to sift like drizzle through the many groves
that rose along the banks in varied ranks
branches dipped in enigmatic realms

It was the full moon rising from the shapes
of pines across a mirror slightly marred
by ripples ringing out from furtive scrapes
against a plane where light and darkness merged
who pondered her reflection ghostly shard
that sunk at pace beneath her starry wreath
as hidden woodland rustles eased and surged

 

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Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • Evolet
    February 1

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    Brilliant!

    You're by far one of the best poets ever with such powerful ability to create poems full of vivid imagery and pictures that dance in my mind accompanied by your beautiful words and the feeling you create.
    This indeed is a perfect silence, a perfect poem to portray that state of serenity.

    My favourite stanza is the first one. I think mentioning the stars created a really dreamy, sort of sci-fi picture in my mind. I simply love your free verse poems, they're just amazing.


    Blessings,
    ~Moonchild

    . Rewarded 8

  • Eduardo Rodrigues
    December 21, 2007

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    Amazing

    Your piece is solidly well written and the imagery you created is very interesting. The title caught my eyes at the first moment and can't think there might be a better one for this poem. Awesome work!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Nothing Is Forever
    December 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful i love it!!! brillant meaning

  • Celtic Legend
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow it seems as though there is a projection of a god placed on a woman that strikes me as beautiful
    it places a picure of a foggy night in a time when they used carriges and women were always beautiful
    great job

  • baconlicious112
    December 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    amazing! great job! this is really inspring. i love it!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    December 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful write here

    Within touching all the wonders of the world of nature and the heavens you have done an excellent job on this write

    . Rewarded 4


  • Swangrnv
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    involving piece!

    i like this piece alot! very interesting indeed! good job!

  • Gods Precious
    November 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It was not the absence of all sound
    nor utter stillness of the living world
    but more a lull that settled to the ground
    like mists at sunset by a quiet mere
    naked whispers drifting lightly curled
    above inverted views of twilight hues
    slowly dimming as the stars appeared

    It was the fullness of bansuri strains
    echoed back from distant points and coves
    floating over long collected rains
    cradled by the roots of oaks and elms
    to sift like drizzle through the many groves
    that rose along the banks in varied ranks
    branches dipped in enigmatic realms.


    Tis really caught my attention.

    I myself enjoy the silence........ the quite piece full times. You made me imagane my quite place.

    Loved it

    . Rewarded 8


  • Lislaine silver member
    November 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It was the full moon rising from the shapes
    of pines across a mirror slightly marred
    by ripples ringing out from furtive scrapes
    against a plane where light and darkness merged
    who pondered her reflection ghostly shard
    that sunk at pace beneath her starry wreath
    as hidden woodland rustles eased and surged
    this was my favorite part


  • A. L. Armocido - AM
    November 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    So dramatic and fully of life. I am personally not a fan of silence! But this was just... anything but. It made me smile. There was so much emotion and vivid imagery... I could feel the passion you were expressing when you wrote this. Keep up the amazing work.

  • alisajs
    November 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This one feels to me like a deeply introspective piece where the persona is sharing and relating the outside to his inside self and providing the readers with a soul view. Very clever.. aloha to you and yours.. alisa ;-0

    . Rewarded 4


  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I seem to have missed this first time round and that is sad since it is a beautiful piece that resonates with some of my own feelings on rural rambles.
    Silence can be fearsome or awesome depending on the location but the best for me is the 'almost silence' of a secluded spot, especially within a wood and you have reminded me of that in this piece.
    Thank you.
    Jim
    PS I like the background too

    . Rewarded 6

  • carole21
    October 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    like the images

    silence can be beautiful . .

  • Angelic Princess21
    October 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very lovely piece of work you have here and i really enjoyed reading it. it was truly a beautiful poem keep up the good work hun
    ~*~Angel~*~

  • Chelseanicolex
    October 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    Your work captivates me.

  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The mind, never still,
    imagines soft sounds,
    spurred both by imagery
    and rustling in these memorable lines.

    "...like mists at sunset..."
    the words stir the mind.

    Aesthete



    . Rewarded 4


  • rollie
    October 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Another beautifully written piece, I'm loving your work

  • FindingFaith
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a lovely piece. I enjoyed the read. Your words are unique and well put together. I have nothing critical to offer. Simply a really good read...Best wishes and God Bless...:f
  • celadia gold member
    September 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    That was the most expressive and impressive read on AP. I bet you've published. Right?


  • Lily of The Valleys
    September 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Perfect

    like mists at sunset by a quiet mere
    naked whispers drifting lightly curled

    Yes, that's exactly how perfect silence is. Really. When things are silent with no sound whatsoever you feel like there needs to be something there. Just something. It's not a great feeling. When your verse about the mists at sunset, that's exactly what perfect silence is. You feel complete, you hear the birds chirping, you hear the sway of the trees and the crisp mountain air... That's perfect silence.

    Beautiful Erin.

  • gunpointbarbiexo
    September 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    This was amazing. I was having the most stressfull day of my life then i read your poem it was simply beautiful.


  • ixtli
    September 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I found this poem very calming. It is beautiful!

  • micol gold member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully imaged and imagined. I live in a world with no silence, so particularly appreciated the chance to immerse in these images.

    You bolster ideas with wonderfully fluid wording, with metered lines that move naturally rather than metronomically or stiltedly (the poem is definitely not free verse), and a rhyme scheme that connects each stanza tightly but still allowed for a moment of surprise (in line 6). Deferring the final rhyme by one line gives a sense of suspense to each stanza.

    Well and truly done.

    . Rewarded 8


  • Jalalbad gold member
    September 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    breathtaking

    one of the best I have read here!
    Smile,
    Judy


  • Dragons Lady
    September 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully expressed. Interesting and thought provoking. I love the imagery. It reminds me of the forest at night, peaceful and serene with only the sounds of nature. I love it.

    . Rewarded 4

  • heinzs silver member
    August 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    :-)


  • MY lips will deny
    August 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very intense language. very skilled write.

  • Kay Laon Anders
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Travel is good for your poetic self

    I think that traveling does you good....when it comes to your poetry...it seems to give you words as you travel the miles......


    My favorite lines:

    "It was the full moon rising from the shapes
    of pines across a mirror slightly marred
    by ripples ringing out from furtive scrapes
    against a plane where light and darkness merged"

    I think of a sunset on the water.....or watching the sun go down over the water...possibly a lake or a pond since the word is "ripples" and not something like "waves".


    Lines that make me ponder:

    "It was not the absence of all sound
    nor utter stillness of the living world
    but more a lull that settled to the ground"

    This feels like an oxymoron....(if that is how you spell it..lol...too tired to check...just worked 9 hours at KFC..first day back since June and I feel like my eyelids are coated with peatnut butter..lol)

    Like there is still sounds...birds singing possibly or crickets chanting....but there was still silence to an observer...I have felt this way many times...in cities and in the wilderness....people can surround you with that busy like hum ..all of them talking..but there is still silence to me at times....or in nature a coyote can howl a mile or two over...or some bats dancing in the trees making all kinds of noise but it is so silent in my head it is down right unnerving....this is what I feel or think..(can't tell at the moment..lol) when reading that small part...the rest of it just seems like fog...pretty lightning fog...

    Another thing I notice in your poetry for me anyways is that most of your poetry feels like a 2 step dance...like if the words are read aloud and the eyes are closed you can see two pairs of feet moving across a marble floor....sometimes wooden but mostly marble....vivid write ....just needs some music and somebody who likes to do the cha cha..lol...great great write...


    Kay LaOn....

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