My mind is all
in a whirl.
I can't keep my head
on straight.
I wish i could block all
the memories but I can't.
It's been near a decade and
the topic still chokes me up.
The pain is so intense
that words would
never be able to
describe the hurt.
My childhood is
basically all a blur.
The huge void is full of
pain and terror felt by the
little girl living in me today.
I remember little and want to
destroy what I do know.
The feelings of betrayal,
anger, and hurt are
here every day and I can't escape it.
I sometimes try to cut it out
of my body but its always a temporary fix.
My heart is heavy and loaded down
so that love is hard to find.
I've tried to ignore the terrible feelings
but they're always lurking in the back of my mind;
waiting for just the right moment to
pounce back into my life.
If only I could find a way to deal and get rid of
the feelings once and for all
yet I know I never will.
As time goes by I'm sure that I'll
be able to numb the pain a little bit.
I just wish it would be today.
I
Comments
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Memories will never fully go, but you can do things to sort them out a little in your head or to make you think of them less. Good luck in finding a stable thought in your mind without making you feel sad or angry about the past.
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Fantastic
You really told it like you feel, everyone who goes through abuse feels the same way, I think. Someday I hope to be able to write something as good as this is at explaining my feelings. I felt sad for you. The last line is the kicker, it ties into how you feel at the start.
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