If only
it could be
that I just wanted you
If only
it could be
that I just desired you
But, it is, how it is
And the want, the desire
mask an irrepressible need
for you to love me back
If only
you just would.
Author notes
sarajaneUK
In a list
A contest entry
- if only by second-born.
900 points, ended October 3, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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with a hint of Kipling, there appears to be a stipulation nearer to the heart than to the breast...
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Wow…a very elegant write full of sadness…I liked its simplicity and sincerity…captured the essence of the prompt…
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Lovely write, with tender thoughts, beautiful take on the title. Well done!
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ah we can not have it all our own way in love and life, sadly, we can love until our little hearts burst with emotion, but if it is not returned then we are at a loss - a good poem.
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This was very deep and I guess that if anyone won't love you back, then should just give up on them... because they don't deserve to get all the love from such a nice person and them not return it.
Or maybe this isn't real... either way, you did a good job on expressing the feelings of someone in this situation.
The last two lines were so sad and they were like the climax of the entire poem.
Keep up the damn good work, Sara! -
bravo
"If" is certainly one of the saddest words in the language...a very well thoughout and deftly done piece of poetry! bravo.. bravo... bravo..
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scratches the heart! it's like trying to push away a contracting wall... unrequited love is so sad, especially at hiked moments.. like this..
tsk tsk..
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simply stated, but this piece
certainly cits straight to the heart of the matter... well said!
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this is pretty
simplistic but meaningful
quite sad as well, but truthful -
VERY WELL DONE!
Wonderful work here SaraJane! Fine piece of poetry and a romantic element to it. THANKS for sharing your talents!
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Cliche.
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Aw Jan, stop it, I do love ya!
hope everything's ok my friend,
Alex.
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A statement every wman makes once in her life ''If Only''
This is a great write.
Smile,
Judy
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I have a poem like yours.... same title, same subject. Coincidence?? I think not. Poets are going to dream and write. The subject of love in poetry is inevitable. In fact, I think love is the reason poetry was invented. Your message plucks just the right heart string with me. Best of luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Ah, if only the desired would desire us in return, eh?
This is simply and succinctly expressed and beautifully clear.
Bill
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