The Hermit & the Fool

I am the blundering Fool,
Who tries to find the Hermit within.
I am isolated from my inner world
By necessity; by this need for ‘money’
Which seems to permeate anything and
Everything.

I try to control my sexual desires;
For, seeing the Devil within its molten fires,
I know that He is at work within the lust,
Urging the rapist to destroy his self;
Coaxing the paedophile to give in to temptation;
Convincing the wife and the husband to cheat.

And so I struggle blindly on,
In the hope that I am making some progress;
Making some kind of metamorphosis into a
Cloaked figure, who stands upon a mountain-top,
Shining a lamp for the people below to find
Their way up rocky slopes littered with debris.

From a caterpillar into a butterfly,
From a Fool into a Hermit,
I am trying to emerge;
To find my freedom in discipline.
And I know that survival is simply
An overwhelming drive for life.
Once this comes, all else will follow.

But for now, I strive within the darkness,
Half-listening to life advice which was never
Really asked for, and which isn’t even relevant.
I dive into myself in solitude and contemplation,
Plunging into my ocean and searching for answers
Beneath the fluctuating waves.

I have nearly drowned in there several times.
Once you get down to a certain depth,
The sun cannot penetrate the blackness,
So that you cannot tell which way is down
And which way is up,
And the weight of the water feels like eternity
Upon your shoulders.

And a stranger once said:
‘You seem to me like you have the whole
World upon your shoulders’, and,
‘Break out of your bubble of thought.’
I was silent then, not knowing what to make
Of such bold and judgemental verdicts,
Only made within the space of an hour.

But now, I think I would reply:
‘I do have the world upon my shoulders,
And I value my ‘bubble of thought’
Above all the precious jewels of the Earth.’
I am the Fool who seeks the Hermit
Inside the darkness of the inner sea,
And if Poseidon would swallow the world,
Then he would have to go through me.