if I loved you
would that be
enough?
or would you have
to love me, too?
what do we need? blue
sky, air & a first
to kiss, a forgotten
hopeless hope, that spark
of romance so repressed
it keeps us alive
as nothing else will
what an end to dreaming
the impossible thing
made from stolen moments &
only put together finally
in forgotten places
love - which end
is it that matters?
coming or going,
I know right
when I see it
& wrong when I lose it
Author notes
This sprung out nearly fully-formed, and I didn't do much editing on it. The biggest part was really just rearranging the stanzas, as they came out 1, 4, 2, 3 - b ut I think it's better this way. Inspiration is a funny thing!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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100th Hoodwink
I agree with Lilac, this is poem is filled with deep emotional expression. Inspiration is a funny thing, that is when I think I write my best poetry, and often times I too rearrange my stanza's to work better. I like this a lot, it made me think.
Love & Light
Debbera
Thanks Kevin for all you do here for us on AP...
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100th Hood-Wink!
You may not know why you chose to write this theme, but I suspect it chose you, that's how I feel inspiration hits us...I love how you start the poem, giving the reader an emotional connection in which to view it...in simplicity you have conveyed thoughts that many could relate to...I personally would choose a different title for this expressive poem, and not use the first line...
I'm so glad you switched around the order of stanzas to how they read now, because I found this an engaging and enjoyable read
You have been Hood-Winked by a Poetic Bandit, as we celebrate our 100th week
Love and smiles ~Lilac 
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Good work here
In most of my work I write it direct then go back to edit and read it to see how it works and not worry about the puntuation until the end .I do this because Ihave lost a lot of my works trying to edit while writing . Good work here
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You seem a bit stand-offish to me
Too far from me to get a good whiff
Coming or going, it's love that I see
Come close so I can get a good sniff
Tiki Cat, famous cat lover -
I really really really enjoy this! =]
Great job.
Fantastic.
I really liked the beginning&ending.
Great great great. =]
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Its rearrangment from the norm makes this unique Kevin. This reminds of a quote I know of, "There really is no such thing as opinions, some souls are just misguided a little." You are right about how the little things in life are what drives us. Another true write!
-roti
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i am so fond of the broken rhyme...maybe because the mind plays with it so well. as in your "too" and "blue" as it carries over, slides into the next line. and, as i've said earlier, i love the sounds created in the spoken poem the play of click and tutt
bouncing along with soft vowelings. It feels fresh, alive and wise.
blessings and best wishes,
~richard
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Thanks You've described well one of the aspects of my 'older' style poetry I liked a lot, which was playing around with the feeling of the words and the way the rolled off the tongue, etc. Not that I ever read them in person, but still, thats how I thought of it. It's an entirely different attack angle from the concreteness one as well, interesting.
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