aeons ago
drought ridden lands
crumbled
dust
by
dust
erosion:
scraped by the friction of air
blown from a sleeping storm's heaving,
polished grains
accumulate
into talcum dunes
of amber and gold
and of star-littered silver
plain ceiling draperies
play endless tug-of-war
musing with tones of blue,
pulling nothing through its circumference
lost chalk patches
remain lost
from cores
watered by the far off shore
pointed spears attack -
a victorious emergence of
sudden green hues,
only to be submerged again
by land waves
tracks:
feet-writing
on lined parchment
continuously edited
and reprinted
out of nowhere,
dry magnified dandelions
cut across
(photographic interruptions)
escaping hallucinations
of forest fire
ignited by Hell's trident
A contest entry
- The Desert by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended August 24, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite me! ~~ One day only ~~ 500 points to Gold, will be judged tomorrow. by Naridill.
625 points, ended September 28, 2007, 145 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Very intriguing piece, the wording is nicely done. I feel some bits are a bit lengthy and could be cut without spoiling it though.
Much luck
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ah,
i'll see how i can trim it down.
thanks a lot for reading! glad you enjoyed it nonetheless.
bless ya!
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A beautiful piece, packed with images. There is so much to contemplate in here. Thank you for entering.
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thank you! i'm glad you enjoyed it! much appreciate your read and views!!
thanks for the muse!
bless ya!
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Looong sigh.....
Magical use of incredibly expressive imagery. Favorite stanza...
tracks:
feet-writing
on lined parchment
continuously edited
and reprinted
Magnificient & bravo
Chrissy
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thank you! i value your comment! thanks for pointing out your fav lines. glad you enjoyed the piece!
bless ya!
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Now THAT'S what I call a desert! Some of your phrasing is excellent--I love "talcum dunes" and "star-littered silver" in particular. A fine piece which deserves to do well in the contest.
Bill
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lol, thank you so much! i'm pleased to know you enjoyed it! i much appreciate your views! thanks!
bless ya!!
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