The day was like any other day
Busy running here and there
Unable to achieve anything
Ran around in circles
Appointments to be kept
Chores needed to be done
Home to dress, a night out
My eye caught a gorgeous view…
Standing motionless as I looked
Sun set across the bay
Yellow ball of hot fire
Sending a beam of light,
Across the water’s edge
Lighting the sky with a glow
Luminous reflections
Leaving everywhere black
Such a breathtaking sight
My busy day faded
Anxiety left me
Settled down to enjoy
A view from Across the Bay
Author notes
PICTURE OF THE SUNSETTING ACROSS THE BAY 4
Rule
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Inspired contest of my Island by SeaWithYourHeart.
520 points, ended August 14, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ONLY by wingsofgold25.
500 points, ended September 28, 2007, 117 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let's Make Magic! by stylization.
800 points, ended April 26, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Thanks so much for entering! I love the story and the description. I'll consider this for the Bronze/Silver, best of luck!
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I liked the way your poem sort of took on a story about a person. How they let their lives get completely absorbed by mundane things and in one minute that was all brought into prospective when nature got them to quiet down and listen for a minute.
Good job! -
mmm.I do so love to watch the sunsetting expecially over water! You capture it lovely. Well done.
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I loved this poem it is realy great. This is not a critisism but a thought.
The last line " A VIEW FROM ACROSS THE BAY "
Its good the way it is like I said Just a Thought,
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest. -
A precious poem where each moment counts
The flow is easy and enrich daily life. You write about what is happening in life here and now and with a positive view. Love these lines -
Sending a beam of light,
Across the water’s edge
Lighting the sky with a glow
Luminous reflections
Hours of enjoyment can begin at any moment! Beautiful!
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The view from my ranch is awesome as the sun sets. We sit out on the porch and watch the sky light up with numerous colors. I like this poem beautifully done.
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Beautifully descriptive! I enjoyed reading this... I have a view that I like to use to calm down with at the end of a stressful day as well... Imagery is often helpful in de-stressing one's self! Great job on this write!
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Wonderful imagery
I like how just the quick vision stopped one in their tracks to take in the beauty of this gift. Nicely done. A pleasure to have read this piece tonight. ~Pamela
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Very nice! I know that experience well, when nature just floors you and your concerns with her sheer beauty. I like the way you built up this sense of futility - "unable to achieve anything" etc. - and then, at the end, it all resolves - but not through the solving of all the problems; rather through an aesthetic and spiritual experience.
This could also work as a metaphor for a divine encounter very nicely.
Well, I hope you see another good sunset soon,
K. F.
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A poetic description of everyday life, common to most of us. Thank you for sharing the poem
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very nice, i love the beautiful imagery.
"Lighting the sky with a glow
Luminous reflections
Leaving everywhere black
Such a breathtaking sight"
that's such a beautiful way to put it.
good job
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nice write. appreciated how you started off far from peace a the beginnin and as the sun sets..so you also settle down to bask in the glory of the most common phenomonon. thanks for sharin this. excellent
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wow this is ver beautiful. The image you paint is wonderful. what a grate message as well. Bravo! Congrads on the HM win! it was well deserved. thanks for the comment as well.
*peace*
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Beautiful
I love the sunsets for there are no two alike . A new day blooming or the beauty at days end nothing can compare
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This is so good loved the way you were rushing around and then you stopped in awe to check out the view the impact of that is fantastic.
well done loved this
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good
I'm a rhymer so this poem has a lovely story - the flow is great - I am commenting on your poem to let you know that you clicked my poem on "featured poems" site without commenting - Bless God - Joe - (Dobar Dan) -
Yes, that wonderful moment when nature meets mundane..
You painted some wonderful images here,
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very nice simple write yet very complex imagery
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