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love at it's finest

damn...i'm not sure what to put down
thoughts in my head just swirling around
i never thought i could feel this way
thinkin about someone every single day...

and that person is you..
i love everything you do
the way you hold me in your arms
makes me feel safe frum any kind of harm

i love it when we kiss, lips so soft and sweet,
love when i lay my head on ur chest and listen to ur heartbeat
love the way u make me feel so complete
it cant get any better, baby you are the elite

i love all the time that we spend
i love how perfect we blend
i'm so happy GOD put you in my life
and i cant wait for the day i become your wife

i wake up every morning happy because we're in love
before i got to sleep you're the first and last person i think of
love the feeling i get when you look into my eyes
and i can tell when i look in your's that your not telling me lies

my love for you cant be verbally expressed
but trust when i say i feel so blessed
that i can love u with all my heart and soul
and my feelings for you are more than i can control

because i'm so into you i could never turn back
and we kinda make up for what one of us might lack
no one could ever make me feel the way you do
baby i just wanna say i love you





A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • UrbaN PlaguE
    February 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is great. This is real, straight from the heart. You can tell in every line that you're in love, it's expressed wonderfully. My only problem with this is the flow in some areas. It kind of falters a bit, which I think kind of takes away some of the flare. Just taking away a word that isn't really needed in certain places would help it out. Giving it a basic, and consistent rhythm. But that's my opinion. Either way, great job.

    -Josh


  • Touchof1der silver member
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Mighty and powerful is your pen. This was a well written piece with great emotion. Thank you for sharing it and best wishes. Keep that pen handy dear poet.
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • Ang
    January 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow... Really a beautiful write


  • BAMFNx3
    December 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful. I can deffinately relate.


  • Onfire4Jesus
    October 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Love. Such a wonderful feeling. What's it mean to really be in love? Well, I think you expressed it greatly here in this poem. It was awesome Very well written from the heart. This was beauty at its finest Great Job my friend
    God Bless YOu!!
    Charles


  • Kooler-Den-Ice
    October 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    and anotha one

    dis could be a song and i bet it win grammys


  • Number 13
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    so i never commented on this one! >=]
    hmm, it's great!!
    You deserved the gold =]
    I'm proud of you, yayyyy!


  • ChrissyJean
    October 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    AMAZING!


  • Riftkin gold member
    August 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    because i'm so into you i could never turn back
    and we kinda make up for what one of us might lack
    no one could ever make me feel the way you do
    baby i just wanna say i love you


    words I love you
    are hard and easy
    at the same time


  • God is my reality
    August 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is sooo good. I love it. It is beautiful. It is just wow. It is what I'm looking for. I love the raw emotion in this poem. I can totally relate to everything in this poem. It is really truly outstanding. Excellent job, and with a poem like this, you don't need luck


  • Swan song gold member
    August 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This has nice rhyme and good flow. It is positive and I like reading positive poems.


  • xxlisajazminexx
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I absulutely Loved this Piece........
    so much emotion in your words.......
    I love these type of poems!!!!!!!
    how you make me feel as if i was actually there
    in that moment........
    Not many people can capture feelings
    as well as you have in the poem.......
    How every line flows nicely into the next......
    great write!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I cant wait to read more of your poems!!!!!!
    A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


  • Atrophya
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    OMFG!!! This is the way I feel for Michael!! I FUCKING LOVE IT!!! IT'S A MASTERPIECE!!! AWWWWWW.... i know what you mean, every ounce of it. i feel the same. wonderful write. i love it!!!!=]

    • Expression
      August 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thankx*tear* lol if i had morea writing experince i'd try writing for other ppl...but i cant lol but yea...i thought u wud understand lol


  • Expression
    August 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    chea alwayz


  • blakdiamone
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    eltee must be doin good by you to be having you feel the way you do. But I always dig the way you write, but anyways, I got so many people talkin to me at once now, and if I don't get my comment down fast enough, I'll get confused on what they're tryna talk to me about. But anyways, great write, sorry to be in a rush but I'll actually take time to actually read it slowly and get the deeper meaning of the poem. 4give me please.

  • KP 2 Reborn
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very nicely done. There were a few points where the flow was choopy, but other than that, it was very well written. Thanks for sharing, KP


  • SOLS.Moonlight
    August 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is really sweet. I like your rhymes in this poem.

  • hotgurl
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow...

    i feel the same way about the guy i love! we are so much in love, it's really possible that he'll ask me to marry him!(hopefully after college tho) your poem is great i really love it!


    • Expression
      August 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      we need plan to sometime hopefully in the next 5years...like he jus left for college soo..yea.but thanx

1 - 21 of 21