you said you couldnt live your life
without me being somewhere near
That winter break I fell so hard
I was breathing easy
and learning how to feel
Thinking back it's kinda funny how things ended
That summer came with rain clouds on my shoulders
And all those tears I cried
I'm glad you weren't there to see me that way
When Autumn came around
you stood and stared straight past me
The chills set in
and you left a permant effect on me
I miss the early morning phone calls
and the late night walks to your house
I miss the reasons you gave me
for believing in something other than the pain people caused
And I hope when you hear that song
youre taken back to that day
when you first promised me the world
Laying barefoot in the grass
with my old ripped jeans
The sun on our skin
i melted that day in those dark eyes
And i hope whenever you see my picutre
your taken back to those last few days
when things were still perfect
before we ever knew things could change
before we ever ended
before you ever walked away
Author notes
x meerz... okayyy so i might have used the word "miss" twice.. but seriously it works i think.
A contest entry
- Shooting Stars and Eyelashes by bird-mad girl.
1000 points, ended September 10, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
"Laying barefoot in the grass
with my old ripped jeans
The sun on our skin
i melted that day in those dark eyes"
That was my favorite stanza. I don't know why... but something about it was so raw. And I think it had a lot of your voice in it, which is very important because it makes the piece more personal and touchable for the reader.
I also loved the way that it ended, all the words that were repeated. I usually don't like when words are repeated like that but it worked so well in your piece.
-
-
thanks so much =) i really appreciate it <33
-
Adding your comment:
