The wind was howling like forever
I fed those fires that smoked and burned
The words we spoke were lost in the ashes
That flew like snowflakes in a storm
I stood beside you at that moment
Before all hell broke loose and then
I was overcome by all your intentions
They choked me with their smoke again.
The love we planned was unforgiving
It drove us to the bitter end
Where lovers despaired in open silence
And desparation was our only friend
While the smoke and fire burned with fury
Around the crematorium that we built
To house the remains of what we cherished
The agony of all our unforgiving guilt
When there's nothing left that's sacred
When the fires burn so hot
We're left with only ashes to decipher
By raking the coals over the lot...
So be my love at my disposal
Pour holy water as I scream
Feed me to your deepest hunger
Wrap me in chains and gasoline
I'll pay the price at any given moment
I'll bear the cost that you propose
And when you're finished hold me over
The furnace where the fire glows
So when there's nothing left to plunder
When you've satisfied all your pain
Pour holy water on the fires
And set me alight to go again...
And when there's nothing left to plunder
When you've satisfied all your pain
Pour holy water on the fires
And set me alight to go again...
A contest entry
- Show me you understand! by Poet of Dreams.
450 points, ended August 12, 2007, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotional Poems Wanted by DeadlyTurnip.
440 points, ended August 22, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [*Broken{♥}&&BleedingArms*] by Logans-Mommy.
600 points, ended September 6, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ashes Alive by angelfalls.silently.
400 points, ended September 4, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Finalists List =]
This was a truly amazing piece!! I loved your word choice.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!!
~~Ashleigh~~ -
Wonderful use of repetition at the end, I especially love the last few stanzas.
Thank you and good luck in my contest! -
oh very very very good. i liked the beginning:
"The wind was howling like forever
I fed those fires that smoked and burned
The words we spoke were lost in the ashes
That flew like snowflakes in a storm
I stood beside you at that moment
Before all hell broke loose and then
I was overcome by all your intentions
They choked me with their smoke again"
it was strong, and ended strong, very well done.
Jen
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This does feel like a song, maybe due to the repitition. Very emotive write, thank you for such a well written entry.
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very well written. i felt as if this was intended more as a song than a poem. especialy with the last repeating stanza. very well written best of luck
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Superb!
Excellent imagery. Wow! Definitely one of my favorites of yours. I wish I had written this. I loved the fourth stanza the most. And the vision of ashes flying like snowflakes stuck in my mind. Such a wonderful write.
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