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Uniting Balance

Hope giggled,

   while bouncing from profound

        to simplistic thought,

           uniting balance...

               with life~

 

 

 

Daydreams invite an escape

        from realities dim light,

            often times...dragging anxiety

              down clarity's unexpected,

                 but welcomed path

 

 

 

Meditation soon follows,

     bringing thoughts to rest

         rejuvenating energy's depleted strength

               allowing me to breathe in deeply now

                                Life~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Still editing...so be gentle ha!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 41 of 41

  • glenn shannon silver member
    April 16
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    marvelous moving a breath of fresh air . thank you


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    April 14
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    Beautiful Artistry...

    I'm not sure how I ever missed this awe-inspiring poem... Congratulations on the Silver Cup!! xx Cyn xx


  • Oisin silver member
    April 9

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    I feel encouraged to take a moment and just breath and relax after reading this. the lines seem to draw you into some peaceful place.

    Very nice.

  • DoomBubbles
    June 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that is delightful! i'm not too crazy about the whole layout thing, but i'm just not a layot person in general. it's LOVELY. it really expresses life in a pleasantly brief, yet just long enough way.

  • Bob Fox
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Life

    And the humane emotions. The touch, the joy, the love. And oh yes the poet. I decline and bring down my curtain of shame


  • individuality gold member
    March 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    November 25, 2007
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    Beautful

    I found this very very uplifting and beautiful writing. This piece is deep and very profound as well. Daydreams always provide an escape route away from everyday, gritty realism that can bog you down and leave you depleted and depressed. I envy those that can meditate, as it takes them to another world. You are very gifted.

    All the best
    Wayne
    x


  • nordicsky silver member
    September 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Back for More

    I like the first stanza: “Hope giggled, while bouncing from profound to simplistic thought, uniting balance...with life”.

    It’s wonderful to have both profound and simplistic thoughts; too many people just don’t think at all.

    I like the way you finish the poem on meditation, the way I would like to finish every day.


  • lucy sky-diamond
    August 29, 2007

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    beautiful!

    well deserving of the silver, this poem says so very mcuh.
    you sya you are still editing, but i think it is perfect as it is
    wonderful imagery, glad i found this piece

    lucy
    x-o-x


  • Viyanna Rosemarie 2
    August 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hope giggled,
    while bouncing from profound
    to simplistic thought,

    i absolutely love that. thank you for sharing such beauty with me tonight. viyanna rosemarie


  • apoeticinjustice gold member
    August 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    an interesting piece...love the visual layout, it definitely adds to the overall feel of the poem. I started to write that the second stanza was my favorite, then I reread and decided the third, and now, well...it's simpler to just say that this is a very good write from start to finish. I don't see any editing necessary, it's wonderful.
    Rory

  • quakietree
    August 13, 2007

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    great imagery!

    This took re-reading and digesting.

    I was first captured by the first lines:

    "Hope giggled,
    while bouncing from profound
    to simplistic thought,"

    I love this part!

    Then:

    "dragging anxiety
    down clarity's unexpected,
    but welcomed path"

    I got such a clear image here. "draging anxiety"- I can so relate to that.

    Good luck in this contest.
    qt



  • BigSpiral
    August 11, 2007

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    I liked it

    I like the transition from broad and vauge to something more specific, I shall have to try that myself, thanking you please.

  • BigSpiral
    August 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oohh la l


  • Ethereal One gold member
    August 10, 2007

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    excellent expression

    I really like the format you have used with this poem. Your words have the ring of experience and wisdom, and I like your philosophy for balancing Life.

    Good luck in the contest!

    Ethereal One


  • cherche -d -ame
    August 10, 2007

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    there seems to be almost a Buddhist philosophy to this [especially the last stanza]I do not see much need in editing [for many times when I try that I sort of ruin my original thought or intention]and this seems to be one of these pieces that came straight from thought to keyboard. Sometimes that makes for the best writes {me thinks] but then who is me eh?
    bigz and Blessed Be
    reenie

  • patterncrow
    August 9, 2007

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    Good. Real Good

    I was going to say change balance, only after finishing did I see its significance as well as the title-Its seems the focal point is that things are white or black-or life or balance as you so elequently point out. I love it. Maybe a comma after rest-


  • Titus gold member
    August 9, 2007

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    There is deep within this piece a modesty that accepts, displays and maybe in one words, explains, "Compassion", the melody of this piece is vibrant and acertained as the lively party person who has much to say and indeed, everyone will listen as the topic will most definately be throbbing! Explained much with, "to simplistic thought,
    uniting balance... with life~ therefore uncomplicated and you gave this meaningful description. Bouncy was that feel!!! What a lively person you are.


  • Marctheman
    August 9, 2007

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    i just feel like you looking at my soul when you wrote this poem, because it speaks of me.

    great poem.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 9, 2007

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    Nice work-in-progress. Tell me, is the difference in tenses in each stanza deliberate? Giggled (past)... invite, follows (present). I would be very interested to see how this developes.


  • heygoo
    August 9, 2007

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    This seems to lend itself to a great life lesson. The birth of goals and aspirations. Perhaps a finial stanza with action as the theme? So you hope, you dream, you think, you DO! Nice job as is though.

  • patterncrow
    August 9, 2007
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    Next level

    I'm going to come back to read this and comment. I'm feeling kind of spent.


  • Tirrell
    August 8, 2007

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    I like this as is.
    This is a complete and philosophicial poem, much like some of the far east poems I am leafing through.
    Very nice and beautiful imagry in each act!
    From hope to dream to thought, this captures a special process. very nice!

  • Liquid memories
    August 8, 2007

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    sweet

    such tenderness you wrapped inside this , and share it with love. Love eachline as it flowed. very nice.


  • Nicolette gold member
    August 8, 2007

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    I was waiting to read a new soulful musing from your pen and here it is - and what a delight and soul-treat this is! This poem fits the contest theme so perfectly and I loved the gentle serenity and contentment that flowed from your words. Lovely poetry - so loved the opening line.."hope giggled".. what a wonderful way to place a smile on the reader's face!!

    ~ Nicolette


  • superstition
    August 8, 2007

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    First of all, this is a beautiful poem just to look at! The style and form of it is gorgeous, and it had a whole 'blowing through the wind' effect for me...it just flowed, words and imagery of the words. Hope, daydreams, and meditation...great subjects on their own and all the more powerful once brought together as a whole like this. This is beautiful, and the imagery in each and every line was stunning. You never cease to amaze me with your ideas and thoughts!


  • tawk gold member
    August 8, 2007

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    Wow, I love the form and the imagery expressed within. I could so relate. Excellent flow, just amazing. Good luck in the contest


  • aslanlight
    August 8, 2007

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    A profound and beautiful write! I like to meditate and I live on dreams. This is one of those poems that I drink in and it fills me up. It's so full of wisdom and life experience.

    Thanks for entering

    Peace Georgia


  • Summer Dawn
    August 8, 2007
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    ps. good view on the topic provided

  • Summer Dawn
    August 8, 2007

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    very exillerating poem, very good usage with the imagery sections. seems like you have studied your poetry forms well before you actually took off as a writer. beautifully written.


  • Melodies
    August 8, 2007

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    Curling up with my blankie!

    You have made me feel so cushy warm and happy reading this beautiful poem... looks good and reads so fine! I am confident that your excellence will be rewarded! Sweetly sublime is thy writing, dear one!


  • Desire gold member
    August 7, 2007

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    Wow!!

    Oh Me Love this Sweet Pea
    What a Wonderful Journey You take the reader on
    and Love the images that come forth~
    Woooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooo

    Even brought my camera
    -tackles You-

    Love this!

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~

  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    August 7, 2007

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    A Very Profound Message...

    Your poems are always so insightful, and this beautifully written piece is in no need of editing (as your Author note implies) unless you plan to add more stanzas... All the best of luck to you in this contest, you've written another winner!!! Peace and love, Cyn


  • Amera gold member
    August 7, 2007

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    Read your notes! No need to be gentle! This is fantastic! Daydreaming to meditation; wonderful! It really is true that true life is within and we get out of it what we want. I want the best so I love my life!

    Love,
    Amera ♥


  • LAPoe gold member
    August 7, 2007

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    Yes Tia I can see where hope would giggle for you
    as would any other emotion in your talented
    hands, and I too find meditation helpful...especially
    after 8-10 hours of it... You are truly one
    of the most insightful writers I've ever had the
    privilege to read... lucky me! laurie.


  • natchstucco
    August 7, 2007

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    very nice and well written. I don't think that the editor need worry here about any critiques. excell.


  • hoodoolover silver member
    August 6, 2007

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    Love the last stanza the best, it's so peaceful, flowing lovely. "Bout bloody time you wrote something, but I see it was worth the wait.

  • Rossetti
    August 6, 2007
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    Once again, a sophisticated poem that really works well. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Chris.


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 6, 2007

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    "Hope giggled,
    while bouncing from profound
    to simplistic thought,
    uniting balance...
    with life~"

    Heyyy, now. Ya went & told on me, Sweetie. Very cool penning, my Friend. Good luck in the contest. Wanda


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    August 6, 2007
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    Last half of poem is my favorite. Love the part about anxiety and clarity.

    Haven't seen you for awhile. You were missed.

  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    August 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Last half of poem is my favorite.
    "dragging anxiety
    down clarity's unexpected
    but welcomed path

    Meditation soon follows,
    bringing thoughts to rest
    rejuvenating energy's depleted strength
    allowing me to breathe in deeply now

    Life~"

    Haven't seen you for a while. You were missed.

1 - 41 of 41