Little green bottle
now drained empty, now hollow-
like he who drank it.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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This is a great piece. I do however think that the second "now" is moot. Still, a great write. Very good.
Kelli -
An enjoyable piece of poetry, I think of alcholism here, an empty life, lost inside the bottle. A good poem.
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short but meaning full
it's incrable how much meaning you have manged to fit into just two lines
the state ment you are making is just so true
well done -
beautiful
great picture
very apt
quite profound
I love your game
very catching
very humerous
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Excellent
This is an awesome piece. I love the comtemplative and simplistic attitude. It also gives a emotive 'feel' about the concepts of emptiness etc. which is hard with such casual diction, i really like this. I like the way you used 'now hollow' not just hollow, and the way it helps it connect with the man. Great work. -
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Interesting Concept.
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Wow. You are very talented.
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you paint a scene in thirteen words. a timeless scene (at least as long as green bottles held liquor in any event)'he' and the 'little green bottle' are companions, a partnership. maybe once it's contents were drank he was no longer hollow. it achieved it's objective of filling his void by intoxicating his perspective so that he could bare it.
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This was an interesting piece. I am not usually a huge fan of haiku's but this was pretty cool. I like how there was so little written but so much said. This always a plus. Good job.
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I like haikus in general- but this one really struck the spot!
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Wowww. I love how strong and powerful this poem is in only 13 words. You put everything perfectly.. its really good. I'm very impressed.. loved it.
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Very, very interesting. I must say I was expecting more and when I saw the measly three lines, I thought, oh no. But you did an excellent job with those three lines.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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very sad write and in just two tiny lines you have managed to tell a story! great job!.......keep up the wonderful work!
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mery pood
an interesting quest for observation of anothers soul
good portrayal of someone's substance
it's an interesting technique you use
hollow is empty, an empty bottle,
but
the real meaning comes thru as someone who is shallow
brilliant imagery -
nice flow
Not in general a fan of structure in poetry but enjoyed the content. It is familiar to me. Well done.
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This was a good haiku. Good flow. You portrayed your thoughts well in this piece.
Well done and keep up the good writing. -
Even though the thoughts and ideas and emotions here are so universal that we can all relate to them, you have presented them in such a way as to breathe new life into them. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet. ~Midnight Lace
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is the second line 7 or 8? (I'm no expert, so I wouldn't worry about my judgement), how-ever it's a nice little poem, with a great metaphor I haven't directly read before.
It flows quite nicely, and every word seems to have been used to best effect,
=> Jess -
this is great for such a small poem, and makes so much since
and has a cute flow to it =]
great job!
stephnie
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lol... well, not sure
short and sweet! I guess... i looked at the words once than twice then again... sometimes i feel like i am the bottle! sometimes i feel like the guy who drank the bottle dry...lol. 12 words to get you thinking, huh?
Good work!
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Ahhh, this is a bit deeper than first appearance! Very well composed and my pleasure to read. Well done! ~tia
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Wonderful haiku! Loved the simplicity of the style but the complexity of the words written. Excellent!
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