Winter moon light
Gives a beautiful sight
Though the joy is tainted
By the river painted
Painted by bloody tears
That come over many years
She wishes she was dead
As she flows blood red
She has watched battles rage
Though she remains in her cage
Her banks wont set her free
Free is what she wants to be
She has been stained
As she is refrained
Seeing lovers love and loose
By the choices they choose
She wants to live a life
But she can't and it hits her like a knife
So she must watch others
Destroy the lives of their brothers
Author notes
For Contest: R o se B l o s s o m 1 0 0 "Don't die live life"
Picture 4:http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r152/hpWICKEDangel/contest%202/Image132.jpg
and Prompt A
Try to guess the metaphorical meaning.
A contest entry
- PIF options by HpWICKEDangel.
800 points, ended August 8, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You know you want to enter this contest by KnightOfTheRose.
380 points, ended August 13, 2007, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i dare you... by Anonymous Shadow.
600 points, ended August 19, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter your last posted poem by whispernthedark.
425 points, ended March 22, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Dark Writes Here (Series - II) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
1500 points, ended March 27, 2008, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I've gone insane! Prewrites contest!! by AngelsKissesJenna.
550 points, ended April 24, 155 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Very sad indeed, though I couldn't really read the poem correctly due to the colour contrast, hurt my eyes.
-
You captured the picture well, gave it a wonderful story. Your font is very bright, makes the words blurry and hard to read. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
-
I agree with Riftkin, its hard to read, and this seems to be about dead, sucide, sadness, I am looking for water, nature, happy, I am going to remove this poem from the contest.
-
this is hard to read because of the colors used
my tired eyes can not see the words of your poem that good -
a beautifully written poem! I loved the way you started it "Winter moon light
Gives a beautiful sight
Though the joy is tainted
By the river painted" so good! great job! Thank you so much for entering! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!
-Steve- -
This is really great. The imagery is great. The flow and rhyming are excelent as well. I thought the first stanza was really great as was the entire poem but I think the first one, while maybe not the best (not saying it was bad either) but certianly in the right spot. It caught my attention right away and made me want to read the rest. The second hit me like a ton of bricks. Awesome just awesome. Third rang so true. I think that is how we all feel at some poing in our lives. The fourth perhaps the most powerful in the enrire poem. Truely great. And finally the last stanza. The only thing I have to say about this is that it is the perfect ending to a great peice of work. Great job and good luck in the contest.
-
Thank you I think that stanza really was what I thought about the meaning behind it.
-
you did a very good job rhyming, and it flowed well. the imagery that came so profoundly in this....
"She has watched battles rage
Though she remains in her cage
Her banks wont set her free
Free is what she wants to be" it seems most people are caged in one point in their lives.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
