Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Plagued

You are sitting on a bench,
at a park,
with a book,
listening to a distant lark.
All of a sudden,
you hear a little sound,
and see a little thing,
zooming around.
Over your shoulder,
under your chin,
it drives you crazy,
-though not as much as some of your kin.
Finally it lands,
but you do not notice,
and when you see it,
you slap- and miss.
You see the horrid creature on the ground,
and stomp it into a near invisible mess,
you laugh until you feel the urge to scratch,
and see the classic sign appear (on your little toe, no less)
The next time you feel the need to read,
you stay at home,
-with your window cracked and a can of bug spray-
so there not a despicable bug will roam.

Author notes

Hey, I hope this made you laugh!!!
~Jibbergabber

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Snow White Sorrow
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was a really good write, you incoporated the jokes into the piece and ended up with an exceptionally good poem that was also funny (a rare combination, in my opinion, and something only skilled writers can accomplish).

    Well done, thank you for entering and good luck!
    Kirsty x

    P.S. You haven't what you want to be in my AP Family in your Auther Notes. Can you do that please?


  • Never Fall in Love
    October 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    haha .. I could have sworn that this didn't rhyme.
    I tried reading this really quickly and it only added to the effect of the poem.

    Great job on the metaphor - it was, exceptionally a very enojyable read.


    Good Luck in the contest and thank you for entering
    Never ♥


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i would likt to thank you for sharing your talent with me through this wonderful write. i wish you well in the contest that we both have entered. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    September 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with the comment below This had all the markings of a good poem but realy needs some work. Thank you for the entry and Good Luck.


  • Arkbear gold member
    August 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Creative Theme ~

    .....however, this is where I feel as if you could have taken

    this entry, and really dug deep for a metaphore or two...>>

     

    So now you have a mosquito bite,
    (and it's on your toe, no less)
    you see it on the ground,
    and laugh as you stomp it into a near invisible mess.
     

    I was really liking this write ~

     

    There is no editing once your poem has been Judged ~

     

    Thank you for following All the Rules in this contest ~

     

    ....also....please join us for the Wed & Thurs POD!

     

    Bear ~

     

     

    Theme ( 1-10 )   7
    Thoughts ( 1-10 )   8
    Ability to follow Rules ( 1-10 )  10
    Feelings ( 1-10 )   7.5
    Depth ( 1-10 )   7
    Uncommon Topic ( 1-10 )   9
    Grammatical Errors ( 1-10 )   9
    Presentation ( 1-10 )   9
    Flow ( 1-10 )   7.5
    *Sit & Ponder* Affect ( 1-10 )   7

    Score:   81.0

1 - 5 of 5