I am surrounded by a sea of sadness
Drowning in my sorrows
Choking in a room of madness
Enveloped in the past
Lost in the present
Wishing life would go fast
Nothing is as pleasent
As it used to be
I'm tangled in depression
Caught inside its web
I'm insane with obsession
Trapped inside my mind
The key is hard to find
To unlcock the door of freedom
To escape far away to my imagination's kingdom
Am I senile?
Am I sane?
Or maybe while,the world's insane?
And then I see the key to me
A contest entry
- The POD ~* ~* by Arkbear.
300 points, ended August 6, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
...nothing is as pleasant as it used to be....
Capping each line is a turn off ~
I loved your Theme ~
Your flow was breached by the Caps ~
Presentation...Very nice ~
Grammatical choices...not bad ~
Ability to follow Rules...I have to agree with Criss,
it is advisable to ask your Reviewers to NOT
mention your name...and do not respond to them
until after the contest has ended, or you
will be breaking the anonymity of this contest and your entry ~
Overall...not bad ~
Score: 89
-
Yes, I can see where you are coming from with this write
Personally, I would have liked something a little Newer, a little
Fresher, something to make me go
“Wow!
I never thought of it that way before”
But saying that, I shall confer with the other
Judges to see whether to
Move this poem
To the finals list.
Also, it would also still be advisable to ask your
Friends not to mention your name in any comments.
Good luck in the POD
~ crisstiena ~
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