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Faded Glory

I was once a singer, a famous rock star
Every one loved me, I was so very popular
Sang with the best, up there on the stage
Mick Jagger, The Beatles and even Jimmie Page
  I sang in all the big cities, all over the world
  I was so happy, being such a star, a popular girl
  Making so much money, but I was running amuck
  Forgot my friends and family, I didn`t give a fuck
No one else mattered, I was the important one
Forgot about my husband, and my dear little son
The things that really mattered, I`d lost all sight
There were lots of groupies, and parties every night
  Lots of booze, men, and the drugs, were never short
  If I ever felt bad, some powder I would snort
  No one ever told me, that I was doing myself harm
  By injecting all that shit, into the veins of my arm
I`d awake some mornings, feeling a bloody mess
But after some drugs, I became again, a Goddess
Everybody loved me, I was their favourite daughter
I thought the same, thought, I could walk on water
  One morning I awoke, all shattered and broke
  No alchohol to drink, and no grass for a smoke
  All my friends deserted me, left me for dead
  Said that I was definately, fucked in the head
It was all over, my life of sex, drugs and fun
My husband had long gone, and took with him my son
I had bought it all on myself, of that, there`s no doubt
Spent a week in hell, just crying  and drying out
    I had lost everything, my good looks and my wealth
    And I was skin and bone, not a picture of good health
    Broken down I was, all drug fucked and spent
    Dragged myself outside, to the hospital I went
For weeks I was there, in bed on a drip
The truth and reality, I wanted to grip
Slowly I came good, to God I needed to talk
Then two weeks later, I could finally walk
    I`m living in a rehab center, at this very time
    Please don`t worry about me, I`ll be just fine
    I`m now a faded angel, don`t deserve a lot of glory
    Just hoping that someone, learns from my sad story 

Author notes

I`m as pure as the driven slush

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Enrinye
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    I like it the way it is, it tells a story that doesn't need to be about you but it has surely happened...it has great images, I could see some right in front of me, especially the parties

    it rocks
    take care


    • goat1826
      June 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks
      Unfortunately there is too
      much truth to the poem
      I did enjoy writing it


  • just4fun20
    March 5

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    wow this is amazing and such a great poem it painted a perfect picture and i really dont see nothing i could possibly say to make it even a little better


  • Girl-Interrupted gold member
    January 19

    Edit | Reply

    awwww sad ... but wonderfully penned...! and you received some shinies,,,! congratsss....

    becca


  • Romanee
    November 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a really good poem, that was a pleasure to read. I loved the flow throughout, but you must read thre rules again because you are not following one of them, so please change, or I'll have to kick you out, great write, good luck in the contest, xx


  • Myjoy gold member
    November 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Awwwwwwww sad, and honest. Well done.


  • Nam
    October 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "No body ever told me, that I was doing myself harm"

    I have a problem, in the beginning, with the usage of "body". I feel that you should either combine it with "No" and make it "Nobody", or replace
    "body" with "one", so the line would read:

    "No one ever told me, that I was doing myself harm"

    "By injecting all that shit, into the veins of my arm"

    You have an extra space between "into" and "the", I do not feel it's on purpose.

    "But after some drugs, I became again, a Goddess"

    I feel the usage of "Goddess" to be a weak rhyme.

    "All my friends had left me, left me for dead
    Left me a note, saying I was fucked in the head"

    I feel the repetition of "left" used three times so closely to each other is too much. I would suggest changing it to one usage, perhaps:

    "All my friends had left me for dead
    I found a note saying: I was fucked in the head"

    [I do not believe there would be a comma after "note" in your usage, why I didn't include it in mine]

    "I had bought it all on myself, of that, there`s no doubt"

    "bought" in the beginning I believe would be "brought".

    "Slowly I came good, to God I needed to talk"

    Too many filler words in this line. I feel it could be shortened a tad, and also feel a variant of "needed" to hold to the fluidity of the poem.

    Two main things I found wrong with this piece:

    1. You use commas in the middle of the lines (which most of them are understandable) yet you have no punctuation at the end of any of your lines. I could
    understand this if most of your lines were enjambments but most of them are not. I feel you could rework the proper punctuation at the end of the lines.

    2. I felt that this shouldn't have been centered. It would read better if it were left-aligned. Most poems should be left-aligned. I feel, only in rarities
    that poems should be centered, and most of those I would construe to be "formed" pieces such as haiku, cinquain, rictameter, etc.,

    I feel some of the filler words could be cut down, as well. There are many but most of them do help the story along but some just aren't needed. If you read through the poem, perhaps you could see the things in which I am speaking about.

    Overall: a good piece that you have written here.


  • Riftkin gold member
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Please don`t worry about me, I`ll be just fine
    I`m now a faded angel, don`t deserve a lot of of glory
    Just hoping that someone, learns, from my little story


    words of a true Angel

    Riftkin


  • Swan song gold member
    August 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like the story and there is some real honest truth in this poem/ It is clear and thogu the meter is a but rough with such long lines the rhyme is pretty good. Good write.


  • Whisper Mckee
    August 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The story sounds true, like something right out of the news. I wish you luck. Great expressive write.


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    August 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What an awesome write inspired by the picture. Great visuals and good message within your words. Good luck in the contest.

    Jeannie


  • McRae by nature
    August 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Good write. Thanks for entering it. It was very emotional.

    Carrie


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great write! I really enjoyed reading this poem! The picture you chose went great with the piece! again great job! Thank you so much for entering! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!



    -Steve-


  • CrimsonRain1313
    August 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hm...welll.
    i like the story behind this and the fact that hope is introduced into all the despair as quantumsurveyor pointed out.
    but i think the rhyming soundz a little forced and awkward at times and the flow is a bit off in places.
    i dunno. it still sendz a good message.
    i luv the last line.
    anywayz, good luck in the contest.
    Peace && Blesses
    ~Rain


  • Ale E
    August 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this. Clever indeed- like someone else already said. Yeah I see how the rhyme is kind of forced in some areas but a great poem all the same. Thank you very much for entering. Best of luck in my contest. This is going to be so hard to judge...OMG..i have so many poems as my preliminary finalists...arg..good write!


  • still.she.waits
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the rhyme and flow of this is clever, though there are a couple of awkward rhymes.
    my favorite line is
    I'm now a faded angel, don't deserve a lot of glory
    nice write


  • quantumsurveyor
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What lifts this above the usual dross and self-gratification of the druggie/hurt/cut writer is the feeling of hope that is engendered. A thoughtful and strong piece of controlled emotional writing.


  • Xox ILY xoX
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well that was certainly a very interesting story to go from. Written very well, the rhyme and flow was amazing. I enjoyed it, from start to finish, you gave her a harsh life, but in the end it seemed like it was for the best - wanting others to learn from her mistakes. I guess we all live a life with mistakes we make, echoing after us, and if we don't make the right choice we'll end up in faded glory just like that. You know? Well anyway, I'm rambling on and on. Lol. Very great write.


  • Kindredblood
    August 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Deep and meaningful

    Everytime i see the news, a celebraty is there, on charges drugs, booze, what does it matter, fame brings money brings a fantasy, your poem paints the whole, the usual ending.
    Loved the way your have put these words together in a flowing yet, tattooed with a powerful meaning, to any and all who read this write.
    Ive been down the drug trodden road, now clean, but I was never famous for anything other than with the cops.
    You've written this well, powerful, emotional, and very real, painting life in one of it's many seduvtive illusions.


  • BaByMaMa
    August 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    that's pretty cool!

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