You said you'd love me for ever,
You said you'd never go.
Now I lie here dying,
Enjoy your fucking show!
You told me we could have forever,
You told me I was your soul.
Well, your soul is dying,
In place of my heart is a hole.
I am dying without you,
Why won't you hear me?!
I am bleeding to death,
What might your fear be?
"It's better to have loved and lost..."
Yeah, bullshit!
You're ripping me apart,
bit by tiny bit!
Now's the time,
My tortured end is here.
Tell me:
Will you rest, conscience clear?
Author notes
opt. 2
A contest entry
- {{Doctor, Doctor Let Me Die}} -♥- by PaiigeBARBIE.
380 points, ended August 6, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Breakup Of A Lifetime by WillAlwaysLove.
550 points, ended August 26, 2007, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life isn't everything, Death isn't nothing 1000+ point contest, LOTS OF OPTIONS!~Still open!!!~ by Soten-Jaganshi.
1100 points, ended September 7, 2007, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I wanna feel your pain by J McSANE.
323 points, ended September 3, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options-mostly a sad despairing contest-Options by lover and hater.
300 points, ended September 28, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ Long Distance ~ by The Hardest Goodbye.
375 points, ended September 14, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ALLOWED!! Twisted,Strange, Break-Ups, New Love.. by Stripes.
300 points, ended October 26, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1234 by yael.
400 points, ended January 25, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes.......But it has to have emotion by Nikki Rowles.
450 points, ended March 17, 2008, 70 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do You Know How To Entertain Seriously With Heat by theredcatjazzoflove.
700 points, ended March 27, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the continuing war between love and hate by Cerbie20.
680 points, ended May 10, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Help Me Celebrate 600+~ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
525 points, ended May 12, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hypnotic Poison by gypsyfan.
600 points, ended June 9, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Er....
*wall*
Definitely a piece to enjoy when you're having an extremely bad day. A bullshit tribute to things! There are alot of things I can take from this piece, and it definitely is the emotion...makes me...upset that you were angry and hurt enough to feel this.
Well, er, congrads on the bronze and honorable mention...but take deep breaths next time, huh?
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Anger, YES!
Did you throw something against the wall after writing this? Good Luck and let it out. It feels good doesn't it? -
I know this feeling all too well honey and yes, people are heart breakers and some people just seem to enjoy every little bit of pain we experience!
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wow... i am... speechless... lots of anger here, and its what i asked for, so good job.
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Oh wow. I loved the lines "It's better to have loved and lost../ Yeah, bullshit!" Cause you're absolutly right. That is bullshit. It does rip you apart, but here is the catch. You'll always find someone that will put you back together no matter how long it takes. Someone that is far better off for you. Good poem. I wish you the best of luck in this contest.
Beautifuldisasterxx -
i like dit i see you have it in tons of contest lol you nailed it thanks for the entry it had some anger in it a lot
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wow...I relate ....very good poem...I love the lines "now i lay here dieing enjoy your fucking show"...very good poem
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yeah, this is a great and wonderful poem I really liked it! thanks for putting it in my contest.
xo
kandy -
OMG!!!!!!!!!! This is such a great poem!!! I really think it is!! It was amazing!!!!!! So Emotional, and the fluency!!!! I LOVED IT! Thanks for entering my contest!
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FUCKING KICK ASS!!! loved this write it kept me reading all the way through and you even followed my rules thank you for entering and good luck!
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Nice write, thank you for entering.
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strong piece thanks for the entry
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The image in this piece is gripping and foreboding. You took the reader’s emotions and worked them. The abcb rhyme structure works well in creating a liquid flow. Well done!
Love,
Amera ♥
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this was really good!
♥ good luck dollie -
In line three change lay to lie. Cool syntax inversion in the second stanza. In the second to last stanza make your you're, this is a very morose piece, but still have its merit. Its well done and interesting in its message. Very universal in its message, many a reader would relate
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