hear this plea, I beg of you:
see my body all scarred up
and the wounds of old and new?
i thought he loved me,
he told me so.
I trusted him
and look what he did to me
what can I do now?
locked and chained
in this dark room; I am
helpless and without hope
come, my Savior,
the one in my dreams,
come and take me away
Author notes
no idea why I wrote this or how I got the inspiration for it. if your asking where this comes from, I have no clue!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Great write I wish you the best of luck in the contest
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Because this is a shorter piece the repetition of even the smaller words in line after line becomes redundant.
Its an interesting foundation with a story here but at the same time I do feel it needs to be tightened and made a bit more brightly.
This reads a bit dim, there is nothing extra special that makes me go, wow this is just excellent. -
wow- unbelievably amazing, knowing how old you are!
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Thank you!
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Oh wow! You opened your closet and put on the cloak of the dark genre and you wear it well. I know where it comes from. It comes from your muse, you have the heart of a poet. I love your work.
Love,
Amera ♥
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Thanks, Amera, for your lovely comment
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