She looked sort of lost
In her loose fitting dress
An unopened letter
Clutched to her chest
She already knew
What the envelope stored
One last I love you
From the man she adored
It was early september
The day that he died
She will always remember
The tears that she cried
One last I love you
Her dress on the floor
If she can't have him
She'll wear it no more
An unopened letter
Clutched to his chest
It said I'll love you forever
As she lay him to rest
Author notes
bluecollarlove----mike
A contest entry
- I Want Some Good Poetry! by kales4.
300 points, ended January 5, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best! by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Story Poems by Zixaphir.
700 points, ended March 4, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Solider Boys by cutekitten789.
400 points, ended March 15, 2008, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~_Forever&Always_~ by scream.n2.nite.
445 points, ended March 16, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes.......But it has to have emotion by Nikki Rowles.
450 points, ended March 17, 2008, 70 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES! ROUNDS CONTEST!!! by Luminescence.
525 points, ended March 23, 2008, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me a Story by TabbyCat.
750 points, ended April 2, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~♥~ Hopeless Romantics and Other Sad Love Poems ~♥~ by Shassidy.
525 points, ended April 21, 2008, 67 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking for New Favourites ~ Give me your best by AutumnGypsy.
800 points, ended April 28, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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Something about this just made my heart sink, I thought when I saw this title it would be something funny or uplifting, not something so sad. Well penned. Best to you in the contest
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Your words made me think of two things. The first two lines are those of a country western song. The second thing is of a war widow. Have written so many poems of lost husbands and sons, your words gripped my heart! Beautiful poem. Could be edited into a sad song, real easily. LOve it!
Linda
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what a wonderfully sad poem. very fluid rhyming and good simple word choice. i like it a lot.
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wow, a great poem! wonderful flow and everything! good luck in all of your contests!
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Wow. This is a really powerful piece! I love the imagery in this. The rhyming in it flows really well. The story that this conveys is really powerful. The last stanza is my favorite because of its view that he now has the letter - still unopened - and he's died. It also connects really well with the rest of the poem. The title of this is also inventive and creative and reflects the poem well, so I really liked that a lot. Great job and good luck in the contest!
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TY TO EVERYONE
TY for the gold and I'm glad you enjoyed it.I have no idea where it came from but it was a long time in the works
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I liked it. The flow was smooth and easy, not forced. As I read it, I felt like you were just sitting here telling me a story. I like how she had a letter from him and she buried him with a letter from her. Beautifully done, and good luck in the contest!
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Oooh...I like it. A simple remembrance...not too flowery. Thanks for sharing.
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Beautiful...that all I can say...it's a wonderful write
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Wonderful Write
This is a really great and emotional story poem. You did a great job of setting the scene, and it is facinating how it is more or less balanced around a too big dress. It is so sad, but that adds to it's charm, and makes it seem so real.
Good luck and God Bless
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A real tear jerker you have penned here. Great flow, rhythm and rhyme as well. Liked the brevity of the lines, and the sadness of the write.
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beyond death
Wonderful write, easy pace and nice style. The rhyming was pleasant also... thank you for your entry!!! This piece was very sad... but the love was there for sure!! Punctuation would have been great but if it's not your style then don't worry about it!! Thanks again...
- - riah - -
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thank you
thank you for supporting our soliders, mine is in the army and i love to realate to people who understand i thank god he comes home after his deployments, i like the way you use that loose fitting dress to sum it up, keep writing, -Amy
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wow... your right this tells a wonderful story... i want to pick up this mystery woman and hold her it envokes a lot of feeling
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This is sooo sad. Makes me cry just thinking of how often this scenario truly does happen...good write!
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I got goosebumps reading this. It is amazing.
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Yes it is true that this piece leave much to the mind of the reader however as much as such can be a good thing it can also be a bad thing in the manner that enough is not given; nonetheless, your words do intringue the mind to search for a deeper meaning and often the reader will return with one that is related to themselves. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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Very amusing. I love poems which get entered into dozens of contests. You may rest assured it hasn't a cat in Hell's chance here either.
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As repulsive as your attitude is i count myself lucky you have no photo
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I assume you enjoy making enemies with your rudeness and stupidity. Well done, you just scored for another one.
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Thank you for entering my contest! This poem had wonderous flow and the rhyme didn't seem forced at all. The emotions in the poem are very intense. And yes it leaves much to the imagination but in a way that makes this poem relatable. Excellent write! Good Luck
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WWWWWWWWAaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Such a sad and yet beautiful poem. 
For the purpose of this contest, dear one... you must have invented a form and then name it and explain it.
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VEry sad. And very well written.Thanks for enterng.
..Simply Me♥ -
You have managed to achieve a meter that's quite steady, and that adds definately to the flow of the poem
the rhymescheme seems to be flawless too.
Well done!
Leander -
Because I got so many entries, I am going to judge this a little different than I normally do. On the contest page the challenge was to write a rhyming poem that shows instead of tells, with imagery and metaphor galore. In addition to those things, I am going to take the meter and rhythm into account along with originality. So I am going to award points for each of those things and then sort of tally them at the end to decide on the winners.
Show vs. Tell: 60/100
The poem tells more than it shows.
Concrete Images: 75/100
Metaphor/Symbol/Allusion: 75/100
Originality: 70/100
Meter: 90/100 -
very good write, the flow was excellent
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Good write.
Favorite stanza:
"One last I love you
Her dress on the floor
If she can't have him
She'll wear it no more"
Thank you for your entry,
Good luck. -
Losing someone is so traumatic, you have protrayed the feelings well... wonderfully sadThank you for taking the time to enter your favourite prewrite in this contest, I wish you the very best of luck
Karen -
wow. this made me cry thank you so much for sharing with me. i added this to my finalist list. very heartfelt.
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thank you for entering this contest with your very beautiful poem ... I am not really sure how it relates to unconditioned awareness, but it is a precious and well written poem in itself ...
all the best,
maa
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The closing lines really brought this to a spine tingling end. It left me with a smithering of a chill. Such sorrow...
♥ Touchof1der -
A very nice written piece with lots of pain and very sad.
Thank you for your enyry and Good Luck in the contest. -
An unopened letter
Clutched to his chest
It said I'll love you forever
As she lay him to rest
love going beyond the grave -
Very emotional and touching! great write!
Love ,
Az
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Emotional and heart felt piece.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.
>>>VIRGOAN
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Wow. I almost cried. I loved the simplicity and emotion of this poem. the imagery and contrast of the unopened letter and the loose fitting dress is so very vivid and sweet.
~elizabeth~ -
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I started this about a year ago as did untitled and they just came to me.Very nice to meet you.
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I like the rhythm and rhyme of this Very clear in your delivery good poem
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Cleverly written
I love rhyming styles as well. This one brought pictures of the 20's to me. My grandmother showed me some during that time frame. Women seemed more innocent then. Thanx for the ride.
~Ron~
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Your poem is simple, but tells the story effectively. Did he go to war? Was he murdered? The poem left me with so many questions.
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Very simple, yet very deep. Very lovely, yet very sad. Beautiful poem, I love the rhyme scheme. It adds to the simplicity.
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Very lovely, yet sad. Like how this was done so simply, yet so full of depth. And how the pain from the letter made the thought of wearing that dress again, unbearable. And love how you have ended this.
Good luck in your contest.
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Veyr interesting and nicely done. I like the image of the 'loose fittin dress'. Good luck.
jaff
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This was beautiful!It brought tears to my eyes.So heartbreaking.A poem this beautiful should be published.
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once again, a truly beautiful poem. you have proven that despite the fact your poems are simple and not buttered up with big words, they can still deliver a powerful message and feeling to the reader. nice work.
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Very sad! I hope this wasn't true, puts a light damper on my day, but it is poetically beautiful the way you portrayed his death I am so sorry, thank you for entering in my contest.
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