Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Free-falling

With these eyes so much that I have seen
I'm running lean, I'm amphetamine
This world is just a weeping scar
It goes too far, just like we are, a nova star

You look so good under this light
My dreams just wither in your sight
You aura burns me with delight
I'm held in tight
In your line of sight.

And if I had the chance to fly
Just get me high
C'mon let's fly
The world is right beneath our feet
I'm so complete
I'm good enough to eat
I'm reet petite

You look so good under this light
My dreams wither in your sight
You aura burns me with delight
I'm held in tight
In your line of sight.

And if I had the chance to fly
Just get me high
We'll touch the sky
Come closer to the edge and see
It's calling me
I'm falling free
I'm falling free.

You look so good under this light
My dreams wither in your sight
You aura burns me with delight
I'm held in tight
In your line of sight.

This world is nothing but a weeping scar
It goes too far, just like we are, a nova star
Like running water it's so deep
Just go to sleep
With these eyes so much that I have seen
I'm running lean, I'm amphetamine
So take my cue, just me an you
Just me an' you, Just me an' you...

Author notes

AP Name: m y r i a d - d a r k

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful! i loved this! the rhyming was phenomenal and amazing. i loved this poem!! WOW!! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • Miss Splenda
    March 1

    Edit | Reply

    woot

    I LOVE this. it reads like a trip. the rhyming is perfectly suited, and the words, and the repetition. ooh, the repetition. it reminds me of salvia, or smoking something that turns out to be not what you expected. lol. vivid, intense, and beautifully dark.


  • LOVELYmurder
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is triggering for me. You described your addiction like it was your friend and that's not what this contest is about. It's a good poem, I like the repetition. But it's not what I'm looking for, not at all. Thank you for your entry, I'll think about letting it stay in the contest.


  • Captain Jenny
    October 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant. I like the use of repetition. Thanks for entering


  • Intravenous Jesus
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for your entry


  • Brit-Girl
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is really beautiful and a lovely song, however I was looking for life-not love. thanks for your interest...


  • Freestyle Bushido
    November 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    EXECELLENT rhyme scheme, this was very lyrical in feel. I can see this being a song, thank you for entering.


  • Plastic Dreams
    September 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "I'm running lean, I'm amphetamine"

    that's a strong image alone.

    I enjoy the thought of dreams working themselves into any song. and falling free keeps us with sanity.

    and to end the song with a collection of the verses all together is a well thought out plan.

    thank you. :


  • Incroyable
    September 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Use of repitition

    I love the constant rhyme. poems like these are some of my favs! And the use of repition and imagery! AMAZING! I must say!


  • Edna Sweetlove
    August 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Would you explain your author's notes please?


  • Trinsa
    August 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with finding serenity.
    Man, you've gotta quit being so good, you're putting the rest of us to shame!


  • Twilight4Eternity
    August 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I always enjoy your work. I'm beginning to run out of wonderful things to say.

1 - 12 of 12