What is a broken heart, but the downfall of a soul.
When the pumping vessel is shattered as if glass upon
the pane,
Sanguine pools gathered on the floor.
Mine eyes are dry from weeping and salty tears can no longer satisfy the growing abyss within.
As a raging monster waiting to consume the lonely
stranger that has taken up residence.
They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, but the window is now shut and the soul hath turned black from longing.
The halls grow long and dim in the confines of my mind. Strength and integrity doth desert me in this unfamiliar place.
Myself is no longer a place to call home, but a prison I cannot escape.
Beauty nor contentment touch this place where shadows do contend.
Yes, there are other fish in the sea, but just how long until I find the old me, in order to seek them out.
My heart bleeds and at the sound of your voice, a dagger doth turn in my bosom and cause crimson tides to rush forth.
I say to you, why leave me in this state by simply saying goodbye.
So I sing to you, my broken heart,in the hopes that someday you will heal.
Author notes
This is for option #5, for the picture.
In a list
A contest entry
- Self-reflection: Write to your past OR choose an option by we lit a flame.
600 points, ended February 8, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Wonderfully done! You capture the feeling quite well, spot on! My favorite line "Yes, there are other fish in the sea, but just how long until I find the old me, in order to seek them out." I don't know how many times I could have used that line to describe my own feeling! Thanks for sharing this brilliant work!!
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Dude i admire ur choice of words nd structure,as deep as dat was i cn relate gud stuck.Gothica
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Utterly captivating, BEAUTIFUL metaphorical, conceptual writing -abstract imagery- every single line in this piece provokes thoughts and images- wwhich is a sign of exceptional writing. This is eloquent and intelligent and exactly the type of writing I admire.
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Great
hey i was thinking of you and i came here to read some of your poems and at least say hi i hope you are doing good. i signed up on here just to leave a comment to you so i hope to talk to you later -
wonderful! that is just how a broken heart feels.. captivating poem!
Myself is no longer a place to call home, but a prison I cannot escape.
Beauty nor contentment touch this place where shadows do contend.
bravo!
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Good
However you need to work on your use of middle english. As for content, the whole fish in the sea thing doesn't really fit with the mood of the poem, it's comical wheras the rest is serious. It's a newer saying whereas the rest is written old. Other than that, it's powerful.
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Wow. I really liked this. Great job.
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Thats really good i like it alot
great job
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I like this! It obviously has a lot of emotion and it seems abstract but then not so much I have to stare at it for an hour to get the picture. The red on red was kinda hard to read at some points but not that bad. After all that emotion it seemed a little weird to say other fish in the sea..just sorta...I dunno..out of place. But nevertheless, a great poem.
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This is soo amaizing!!! It's definately going in with all my favorites. I love all the analigies you've used and this is certainly genius! Great work.
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wow, this is really good!i wouldn't have changed anything. :] you did a nice job, and put lots of emotions on display. i really liked this!:]
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nice use of shakespeare-y kind of stuff.
-When the pumping vessel is shattered as if glass upon
the pane
-Try "a shattered pane of glass"
-They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, but the window is now shut and the soul hath turned black from longing.
-Nice
-The fish in the sea thing kind of breaks the mood change it to something more knightly and renaissance-y
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Awesome.
Your have a real talent for poetry.
Keep up the good work.
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I love your work
you have a real talent
very brutal
your emotions are very clearly stated
& are received so strongly
great job!
keep up the good work!
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