Something invisible is lying
between the petals,
something soft and gentle
like a lovers’ touch,
like a wish.
A satin white whisper
floats against the fragrance
telling me I insist.
Please, don't!
I just want to know your
white.
I don't want to tear apart
any of your beauty
with my touch.
Author notes
This is an anonymous contest please do not mention my name in your comments. Thank you.
In a list
- AP Trophies - G - S - B and HW • next in list
- Nature • next in list
- Challenge • next in list
- Love • next in list
A contest entry
- Poetic Beauty. by Poetryintheblood.
350 points, ended August 12, 2007, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - With This Rose. by Poetryintheblood.
450 points, ended October 24, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write about how you sense a colour by chills.
370 points, ended December 12, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Beautifully understated in 14 amazing lines.
I simply adored the softness to this poem.
An excellent entry. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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painful and quirky
is always good in my book. I loved each syllable. thanks -
Very beautiful and attentive to details.
Lovely write, enchanting.
Thank you for entering and best of luck!
x -
Thank you for your beautiful entry, Josephine
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Very good write.I liked it a lot!
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I love the imagery! It made me feel really good to read this. It really deserved that silver trophy!
Always,
Cassie
PS: Thanks again for commenting on my poem.
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wow
liked "satin white whisper". paints gorgeous image
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Simple poetic beauty
Oh, this is beautiful, and one of the first things I noticed, was the voice; so very eloquent and feminine. This is a truly touching piece. Brava!
mj
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Outstanding
This is a finely written poem with a sophisticated sense of imagery. I loved how you created such a delicate poem, reflecting the beauty of the rose. Your writing seems to go from strength to strength. Best of luck in the contest.
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a dialogue in two words, and yet what a deep and touching story it tells in all those words unsaid. gorgeous.
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"Something invisible"!
The white rose speaks of innocence and purity which applies well to your final verse as to the desire that the rose remain so. You write very well as your words play against each other. In the language of flowers, the white rose also symbolizes secrecy or silence which is shown in the "whisper".
Beyond symbolism, the 'softness' of your poem as read slowly emphasizes the value of one of Nature's treasures.
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what a gentle, beautiful, beautiful poem,
"I don't want to tear apart
any of your beauty
with my touch."
Sigh...love this, all of it!
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This is simply true love!
Wonderful!
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Oh wonderful, this is just breath taking. Always a joy to read.
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Thanks! Will definitely do that next time!
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I didn't have enough points for applause before...
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Beautiful & Perfect
The white rose is a synbol of many things. Puritry, Honest,Passions,trusts,many & many things it will always mean. This is beautiful. Thank you I need that to read this morning.
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This is absolutely breathtaking, thank you for entering, Josephine
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Lovely form and words. Very mysterious, the kind of poem I want to read and reread a few times. Good job!
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a unigue peace of beauty with magic qualities. I love the enhancment of the white and the ending of the I don't won't to tear down your beauty with my touch.
grand qualities here
Tamara
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This is lovely and the metaphor so well applied here from beginning to end. White roses are my favourites (I don't like red ones at all) and I have very special memories associated with a white rose - so this one speaks to me with its beautiful, white language. I loved the sense of distance here...to admire and appreciate the lover's beauty... Lovely, romantic and lyrical poetry that sings!
~ Nicolette
PS ~ And so wonderful to see the face that holds the pen - lovely!!
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Simply beautiful. Gorgeous picture, gorgeous poem! Best of luck to you in the contest!!!
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A good write. I like the way this poen looks.
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