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Lost

I call your name in a hundred voices,
Search my mind with a thousand choices,
Scream and shout but at what cost?,
I see you now - eternally lost,

No love, no passion, no desire,
Your soul devoured in a pit of fire,
Fear, anger, hatred, spite,
A blackened void where once was light,

I break my heart at the pain you're in,
The relentless torture of a wretched sin,
I plead and beg again and again,
As time slips away grain by grain,

On a darkened path you walk alone,
A broken key under every stone,
One million tear-drops in the river of hate,
Drowning in sorrow when you took the bait,

I see your face in a hundred places
Reach for your hand through a thousand mazes,
Blindly watching that line being crossed,
Knowing you are - eternally lost.

Author notes

I think this is my best poem because it came from nowhere. It was one of those that just sort of spilled out and sounded good just as it was. A rare thing indeed! It's certainly my favourite. It is about watching a loved one becoming addicted to drugs and wanting to help but not being able to.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • xCandieKissesx
    1 day ago
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    I see your face in a hundred places
    Reach for your hand through a thousand mazes,
    Blindly watching that line being crossed,
    Knowing you are - eternally lost.

    Wow! You certainly have a way with words don't you? I think Shakespeares solioquy is one good friend of yours..Don't ever lose that! I believe you have a talent because it's very tough to find a great rhyme, and let it flow through the whole poem. Wonderful job and good luck!

  • BorntothePurple
    July 25
    Edit | Reply
    This is great. I like the religous overtones to it, the Hell imagry is definitely poweful. Until I read your author's notes I didn't realize this was about substance abuse/drug addiction. I think this is very effective. Great job and thanks for entering.

  • sassykitty
    May 6
    Edit | Reply

    gold for me

    really liked this, struck a chord with me,could really relate to it. Good luck


  • crazymomma
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written poem. Good luck in the contest. I personally don't believe anyone is "eternally lost" and there is always hope but this is great.


  • Condemd RyeZing
    April 30
    Edit | Reply
    Whao... Nice!
  • TabbyJoy
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    Reminds me of some of my earliest dark writes. Carries the reader rapidly along until the end, which is strong.
  • celadia gold member
    April 22
    Edit | Reply

    Fantastic

    This poem is really something. Good luck.


  • Shrouded in Mystery
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wow I love the last verse and I love the fact that this poem is amazingly detailed and it rhymes. Well done, good luck and thank you for entering.


  • CanadianGirl1
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    Eternally Lost...something quite often I find myself... this is a fantastic write!! the rhythm and flow of the entire piece was perfect.
    Thank you very much for your entry.. I do look forward to reading more of your work .. I shall return

  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    March 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is awesome Dear. I really Like this. Thank you for entering. I wish you the best of luck


  • moon2u
    August 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WAVING

    ONE DAY I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW HOW MANY POEMS HAVE BEEN WRITTEN ABOUT BROKEN HEARTS...OH MY GOSH...I HAVE WRITTEN MANY MYSELF
    YOU HAVE CAPTURED YOUR EMOTIONS VERY WELL IN YOUR POEM. AND I ENJOYED READING IT.

    HUGS MOON

1 - 12 of 12