In reality we've got less than 24 hours to discover the true meaning of life,
less than 24 hours to be rejected, neglected, and effected by the things that validate the emptiness of this lifetime.
Every second,
every minute,
and every hour counts.
Counts down to the reasons why living this life is hell sometimes,
why we take things for granted not once but twice,
why everyday we play games with our lives,
but still tomorrow's not promised.
We find ways to escape the philosophies of truth,
we ignore God's eyes,
and by the devil we get played like fools,
because the clock is still ticking,
and we've now got less than 23 hours, 57 minutes, and 39 seconds to discover the true meaning of this lifetime.
Warfare in the valley,
the devil against a man made army,
here we are standing with guns in our hands,
tuning out the word of God,
"the weapons of our warfare are not carnal,"
forgetting that "those who live by the sword; die by the sword."
We are ticking time bombs,
with less than 1 hour, 16 minutes, and 2 seconds to discover the true meaning of life,
in order to eternally live and not damnably die.
Souls cry out and band together in the army and begin to pray:
"Our Father which art in Heaven hallowed be thy name,"
praying that the Lord will hear them pray; just this one time,
praying that the Lord will hear what they have to say; just this one time,
they want him to hear their cries before they die,
with one minute and one second to live.
Just this one time they say,
"hear my prayers oh Lord,"
"save my soul from damnation oh Lord."
With one second to live,
gasping for breath trying to utter the words,
"father please forgive me?"
Then in death they find the true meaning of life.
Author notes
Just read it because it's a pretty powerful read.
A contest entry
- LOOKING FOR AP FAMILY MEMBERS BECAUSE I AM AN ORPHAN. by Swan song.
450 points, ended August 6, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Slam Poetry by live2die.
600 points, ended September 27, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and everything! by My Selfish Romance.
300 points, ended January 26, 2008, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1666 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Yes,
very powerful message.
Glad you took the time in sharing such a piece with the group.
All the best, and keep doing u.
Ephiphany
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Powerful construct
What an idea to carry out in poetic form. This is an intelligent read with smart insight. Thank you for your read.
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THis was very deep heart felt I really enjoyed reading this reminds me of the sinner at the cross with Jesus.
Remember me when you go into that kingdom and he was saved just like that. So beautiful!
~Ocean~
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This piece is very hard for me to comment on.... I suppose the reading of 3 poems of devastation and possible damnation have made me a bit lost for words!!!
No matter how truly horrible our lives are or have been I am a true optimism and believe that everything will be alright if we only believe.... I have been called a dreamer by many of my friends and family... But, because of it I can truly say that 90% of the time my spirits are high because of what I believe.... 6% of it is down due to illness and only 4% will I allow myself to be down because of a happening or circumstance over which I have no control... The words here are well chosen and flow together well.... Would love to see a little more hope in this message!! -
Nnnnniiiice!!
Excellent!! I loved this from message to poetic flow to the build of both the story and the intensity of the piece!!
Nnnnniiiice!!
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i loved this so much i cant really find words to say how much so i just loved it!
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To Pray is mearly to say
the fluid flow of this piece is great, good work.
As to the thoughts prosessed, yes I do believe that one should be strait with ones beliefes from wake up to sun down, for not the next second is promised, let alone the next day, and I believe it was said in one of the passings that the original consensius that was turned down for prayer was that man should pray upwards towards 108 times a day, but man worked it down to three, I still try to pray far more than that, but realize most men are lazy. Anyway, good work, an excellent piece here. -
Bravo! I'm speechless. Very creative and unique
to say the least.
Thanks so much for sharing this powerful
truth!
Keep penning,
~The INC." -
This is a very powerful poem that has a lot of substance behind it. I like the concept of only having one day left to live. The increased length of the lines when you said how much time was left helps the pace and urgency of the poem...overall it's very well written!
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i liked this thanks for entering
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i love the title and the poems overflows with intensity.
the religious parts not much to my liking, but other than that it was a wonderful read. -
This was incredible. It kept me in suspence and made me wait to see what was coming up next. It had a lot of religious flavor to it but it was still excellent in my opinion. Well done.
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a very nice work. so true and it hit harder home for me more than you could ever know. this was a very powerful write indeed. Nice job it makes the reader think.
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This is really good. It is a little much for what the ontest is for, but you put some real work in this poem and you made it work.
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I like the way this counts down so to speak. This is really good, also I really like the title.
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Wow...that's just...wow. I mean, I've read that kind of theme hundreds of times, but none of them were quite like that. The way the time went from having 23 hours to only a minute left was so sudden, it dropped like a bombshell. I think I might have actually stopped breathing for a second there. Very intense write. I'm impressed.
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Thats ana mazing look on it, but so true. We never discover why we go through what we do when we do. Only after we live. The shortness also hits close to home, seeing friends die young and never getting to live and find what life can be and what it isn't.
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wow, I really love this! This is so true! we only have 24 hours, to be honest, to do ANYTHING... no matter how many days we live, we never know what is going to happent. I love this peice!
good work! keep it up!
Crimson -
This is one heck of a poem it is intense and you caught the flow just right. I was on the edge of my seat Wow
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I just wanted to let you know that you are one of the few people on AP that I really look for you to critique my poetry. I just want to say thank you for your honesty with my poetry. I actually look forward to seeing you critique more of my work. Thankyou so much.
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