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foam-tossed into free


this pendulum below her rib,
swings in ocean-time:

rolls its current through her frame
while
coaxing through exhaustion,
her to reach;

 

 

 

flotsam
scrambles for some pause
upon this tangled beach;

to rest a while -

 

bares herself to sky
while hands fail to fix in sand
beyond her tide,

 

 

she is all eyes & sense

 

 

 

dilating
to a point of mercy
& release,

 

 

black & buried deep
she cannot hide the
waters shifting

with each breaking crest,



this foam-tossed into free ...


this fluid
I

 

 

name woman

of my sea.

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • butterflywriter
    August 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    great feeling...very nice


  • PageTurner
    August 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "bares herself to sky
    while hands fail to fix in sand
    beyond her tide,"

    WOW, I'm beside myself in wonder of the beauty of that verse. Such feelings you exude...

    Radiating write, Poet. ~ Nicholas ~
    Good luck in the contest!


    • EvilKate
      August 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      You are more than welcome and thank you. Heh. Every now and then my muse trips over something pretty & shiny


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "she is all eyes & sense

    dilating
    to a point of mercy
    & release,

    black & buried deep
    she cannot hide the
    waters shifting

    with each breaking crest"

    Beautifully penned, Lady. From the very first line, I knew I was in for a treat: "this pendulum below her rib". A wonderful interpretation of the picture, Poet. Thank you for entering. Good luck in the contest. Wanda

    • EvilKate
      August 4, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Well, considering I'd written (earlier this day) what is possibly the worst poem I've ever penned, it was a delight to find my muse renewed. I certainly didn't expect it and, as is often the case, have no idea where most of this came from: the unconscious is a devilishly difficult fiend to explore

      Thank you kindly for you words. There appear to be quite a few gems in this contest, so I don't envy your work to come. With competition like some of these, I'm just happy to have been here to share. As that bard once said, the play is the thing in the end

      *okay - so I paraphrased a little!*

      • Night Hope gold member
        August 4, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        I often say, when asked how I do it, that I merely hold onto the pen...usually for dear life. Someone asked me once (ok, several times) if I'd "ever written a bad poem". I replied, "Of course; I just try not to post them." You're quite welcome, Poet. I'm glad I was able to provide the jumpstart your Muse required to get back into gear.


  • tara wilson gold member
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I think I'm withdrawing my entry...lol...
    this is excellent

    • EvilKate
      August 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Don't you dare!

      Or it'll be a spankering for you!! ;P *Unless you like spankerings - in which case it will be a non-spankering and more harsh words!*

1 - 12 of 12