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To Those Who Are The World

I don't quite know the words
To tell you guys it all.
Those pesky little words,
Fleeting as they fall.

You guys are the world,
or at least the moon and sky.
Without you down here with me
Life would seem horrid and dry.

My relationships may be very
Far and few between.
But then again, there you guys are.
Behind me, always seen.

You are the constant that I need
To pull me through these days.
Thanks to you...thank you!
I send my thanks in so many ways.

When I needed you guys, you were there,
After the fateful morning.
When all that could tell me my father was alive
Was his slow, rhythmic snoring.

I could see the blood of that day
In my head for ages.
But, you guys were there for me then,
To purge me of those images.

I've never thought of any of you
As anything more than a friend.
But then, with friends like you,
Deeper emotions are hard to comprehend.

 

Thank you...

Author notes

I can't dedicate a poem to one of my friends, without dedicating it to them all. Every one of them means something to me.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Sunset Dreamer
    September 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    hmmm...

    i'm very jealous of your friends andy. you have a whole other life than the few short hours you spend with me every once in a while. i miss last summer, when you me and adam hung out. those were the days, huh? this is very touching and sweet. you have gained a new facet in my views of you.


  • x Star Dust x
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You must be a special person to have so many friends I think thats awesome (really I mean it sincerely!) Your rhyming was a little forced, and the flow breaks just a tad.

    An example:
    When I needed you guys, you were there,
    After the fateful morning.
    When all that could tell me my father was alive
    Was his slow, rhythmic snoring.

    I don't think you need to say guys... you might look at this and tell me if it still works for you and sounds better?

    When I needed you; you were there!
    alongside me on that fateful morning,
    trying to tell; if my Dad was dead or alive,
    we laughed when we heard the rhythmic snoring.

    It's just an example, you can tweak it your own way. It is just a suggestion... I just think by working it just a tad this poem could shoot for the stars in the sky! Still an EXCELLENT write I did enjoy it.

    Thanks for entering my contest, I hope my suggestions help a little it really isn't made to be critical. Nice job!