2 bottles whisper to me about departure
around the corner a third yells out to join the party
the taste of raspberry fills my palate swimming through my mind
As my vision shifts to the right like a republican
But my foxy demeanor kept me fair and balanced
I waved back at Zinfandel and Cabernet as the empty bottles laughed
Knowing my excess is my fate
Their emptiness confirmed my demise
My pockets become chairs
As my keys play the music for me to be seated
Or is it a mental game of hide and seek?
None the less
I win
And the vehicle shudders with fear
Driving through the maze
I finally see the parking lot exit.
The fireflies are not within distance
So I proceed
Down the trail my bunny takes me
Hopping in and around the trees and animals
That is covered in metal in glass
I hold tight to his ears and push forward
My stomach and mind debates tango or is it the waltz?
I choose to sit out this dance
They decline
I then realize my rabbit has wheels and pull over
Leaving the vehicle I discuss a compromise
They disagree and work together to rebel
The cyclone twist within me as I fall down the side of the ravine
Tumbling towards the adjacent highway
I see the end approach
Why did I defy the odds and attempt to drive?
I close my eyes and awaken
In the passenger seat and know
I made the right choice
Author notes
Funny how alcohol speaks to people when you really listen
A contest entry
- Free verse poems .. by Manoj Sanyal.
450 points, ended August 7, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything that has a metaphor in it. by DeadlyPoetic88.
300 points, ended September 28, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Drunkeness and Debauchery. by Daffodill du Pres.
375 points, ended September 21, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Drunk Poetry Drink-off by EvilKate.
1200 points, ended November 20, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Another fine entry. Well done indeed, with some very clever turns of language
Thanks for your entry and for being patient with the delay in judging.
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wow I am going to have a difficult time deciding who is going to win this contest. I loved this poem. It was very interesting. I like the way it was written and the picture really helps convey whats happening. Keep up the good job.
Dani -
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Thanks it was a real night ( besides the rabbits and talking wine bottles of course)
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Bravo!
Perhaps you should aquire a taste for Glenmorangie and listen to some Stravinsky at home????
I loved this! Jane
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LOL!! The stravinsky I could go with but the Glenmorangie? my pallete isn't ready for single malt scotch. Thanks so much!! ~ mikeee
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wonderful! I think this
really captures how people are spoken to... very creative and well worded...
I think the word "balance" in line five should be "balanced" ...?
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Yup - U were right. I made the correction. Thanks so much 4 your insight. I really appreciate the extra critique. It makes us better. ~ MYkeeee
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well expressed with good imagery.
good luck
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Thank U - I was almost like fantasy land thinking about this as we drove home. ~MyKeY
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