A life so perfect
without any tears
Can fall apart in seconds
Revealing hidden fears
A love so strong
With bonds of steal
Can break in moments
Leaving hearts to heal
My life isn’t perfect
But my love is strong
I know I wouldn’t lose you
I’ve known you to long
But time has no meaning
when your heart is breaking
From our friends around us
Who think we are faking
Maybe she loves you
Hidden by a smile
You can sometimes see it
If you watch her for a while
Yes im a little obsessed
But you know that’s me
It’s who I am
I get hurt so easily
I should not be so close
To someone so far
But I cant help it
I love the way you are.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
be so close to someone so far.... I like that!!! I am a girl that gets stuck in relationships where I'm not appreciated.. this poem reminds me allot of that!!!
-
"I should not be so close
To someone so far"...I especially liked these lines 'cause I can relate to them...My Queen is far away from me yet I feel so close to her; which I think is not very healthy owing to the fact that she seldom calls or show that she feels the same as I do...I'm beggining to think, maybe she has moved on with her life...This is a beautiful write...I enjoyed reading it...Write on Poet...Peace
-
Hi
'A life so perfect
without any tears
Can fall apart in seconds
Revealing hidden fears'
Usually when lives seem just 'perfect' this is exactly how it is I guess.. I guess thats why they say that beauty lies in the imperfections..
Very powerful.. the poem goes beyond but succumbs as progressed to one specific event.. Loving a fragile dream.....
Keep writing
-
i loved this poem it is almost like i could have witten this myself good job
-
i really like your rhyming pattern, it makes the whole poem flow really well, wonderful job and great passion!!
-
Hey... That's a nice poem... Something I can very much relate to..
I am not a great poet, but feel free to read my poems and comment on them..
-
Hey, went through a few of your poems...immensely enjoyed reading this one.In a way, this is even better than your gold-winning one!The opening lines are my favorites.Flow is good on the whole, except towards the end where perhaps chopping off a few syllables might help.
Hope to read more of you in the coming days...
-
this is a great love poem! I could just read a million times over!
-
A good poem about love, the rhyming is okay but the use of punctuation might help the flow a little and possibly splitting it into stanzas.
Over all a good poem....Sue
-
THIS REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF A CHAP FROM INDIA, FEELING REJECTED, AND WAS EVENTUALLY REJECTED BECAUSE IT WAS A CASTE PROBLEM.....YOU HAVE WRITTEN WELL...FLOW AND RHYME IS VERY GOOD.....TONIGHT IT IS VERY LATE, ALMOST 5 IN THE MORNING, SO I CAN ONLY READ ONE....KEEP WRITING!
-
Lovely love poem. So much emotion, nice write. Julie.
-
Very nice poem. Loved the message and the gentle flow of the words. Great write!
Az
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
