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* * * * * Deafening Silence * * * * *

 

 

Did I say too much today

or was it not enough,

were there words harshly spoken

or were they devoid of tenderness?

 

 

 

Under cover of this darkness,

and the shades drawn tightly shut;

no apology could break this silence,

nor would it heal two wounded hearts.

 

 

Back to back we lay here ,

skin not touching skin;

like two strangers that have never met;

 

 

 

 

When did we stop being hot and fiery lovers

no longer even trusting each other as friends?

How long did it take between the "I dos"

before we reached the silence of "I won't"?

 

 

 

I feel you pull the sheet tighter across your chest,

almost as if wanting to avoid my accidental touch,

a fear of having to respond in kind;

 

 

 

 

And I move further to the end of this King-size bed,

the one we used to laugh and love and play on,

-a single one would have been our choice back then-

And I am now left wondering,

if maybe we both would not prefer single rooms,

where the silence is just as deafening,

[but it is by our own choice]

 

 

 

Will there ever be anything left to say,

and will there be laughter at memories of then?

Or are we doomed to this forever silence,

will we eventually choke on unspoken words?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

I am not as of yet familiar with this poet, so I hope this somehow meets what you were asking for. If not-feel free to disqualify [no hard feelings]

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • arden
    August 18, 2007

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    och, 'tis indeed been too long that i 'ave stayed away. that said, on to the poem.
    naturally, i remembered that ye wove mesmeriseing peices, however, i did forget the impact that ye always seeem to 'ave on me. i well recall laying in the bed, and feeling wht this poem contains. 'also, reminds me of that mariage where, we could both be in the same room, and i would never 'ave felt more alone. and aye, sometimes, different rooms were better, for at least then, i might 'ave been able to understand being alone.feeling lonly. i always love the way tht ye word things, such deep understanding, and tinged wi' regret... makes for a beauty in my eyes.

    best regards,

    arden


  • truembrace
    August 9, 2007

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    ... nods ...

    there is a blank faced man within some of my poems and he is indeed the man in this poem as well - yet I was the one rather afraid of the accidental moment of touch just before I left. there are so many that can relate to this from one side or the other. granted, I was not married to the man -- but how incapacitated I felt on many levels before leaving (as I lived with him for several months)... well, those feelings are more often than not irreparable.

    really - I don't feel as though anyone ever really has an explanation. Perhaps, "things just change".. "life happens"... Perhaps the greater shame is not knowing to leave before things go so far? or that one day we just stop talking to one another?

    (I think I prefer "sometimes things just don't work...") less fighting -- still so much silence though.

    tremendous poem... indeed.


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    August 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Unfortunately, I know whereof you speak.
    Memorable lines
    poignant poem


  • Rose-Quartz
    August 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I just wanted to add some applause for your very good poem xx

  • Rose-Quartz
    August 4, 2007

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    This is a very fine poem, that sadly a lot of couples can relate to. Your words and the way you have used them, evoke a very strong sense of sadness and lost love. This is an excellent poem written with real feeling. I wish you all the Good Luck for the contest. All my very best wishes from Rose xx

  • Acidanthra
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    :)

    Very intelligent write...

    I admire this piece for its imagery and texture of words. It takes a lot of imagination and meditation to write a good poem, and I believe you have accomplished that.

    My emotional response is very empathetic. With each line, my emotions tune into what you are saying... which is good.

    You wanted my honest opinion, and there you have it... I really prefer not to give criticism, because I would feel like a hypocrite. I am also a poet, just like you, and would not want my work to be criticized.

    Keep up the writes!


  • wbiro gold member
    August 4, 2007

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    O why do you draw me hither when you are in agony (and not when you're just plain OK!) Well, you dilemma is simple, sis, this relationship involves love- now, if there is to be no pain in a relationship, then choose one without love! Come to think of it, I just told my wife this- after 20 years... and come to think of it- we have separate rooms and a king-size bed...! (I moved into the boy's room after he went off to college) I did add that we give each other 'space'! lol Well, so much for my wisdom today... Oh, just a contest piece! Well, I gave too much away about myself for nothing! Ahhhhh!


  • crisstiena
    August 4, 2007

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    I was captivated by this.. and half way through I could feel a hard knot of pain the size of Rhode Island rising in my chest. The title is absolutely wonderful, as is the imagery - I was there, right there - and I felt all of the sadness and regret that flows like molten lava from this poem. Plus of course there's the rhythm of the whole thing, the way every line seems to wrap itself around your tongue - it's almost impossible to see how it could have been said any differently. This is not simply a poem I will remember, it's a poem that will become a part of how I think, a voice in my head.

    Good luck in the contest. I'm sure you will do fine.
    ~ crisstiena ♥


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    August 4, 2007

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    Wow the imagery in this is fabulous. Yes, sadly, there are many couple who live this way and you have expressed this brilliantly (I have been through this myself) Excellent piece and right on target!
    All the best with this
    Gaylene


  • Danna Hobart
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Too many couples live like this. It's very sad. Glad to know this did not come from something personal. Who knows what gets between couples like this. There is so much stress in this world.


  • poeticweaver gold member
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow,

    I'll tell ya one thing, ya had me just about in tears here sis..You have a way of captivating the readers in with each passing line..And wow, what pain within the words of lost love. I'm glad this was not personal..but so many sadly can relate..Much love sis, Timothy aka poeticweaver~ xo xo xo

1 - 11 of 11