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My Disease


I must have been about twelve or thirteen
When I began to develop a disease
I began suddenly to bloom
Undergoing anatomical changes
Of various kinds
My breasts were budding
My hips became heavy, my lips luscious
My eyes were shining
With a mysterious light
Sending out mysterious signals
My curves and contours became sharp
Attracting attentions from all kinds of people
They were looking at me very queerly
As if I had become a queer character
I experienced changes of many other kinds
Of which I don’t want to talk so frankly
Excepting one thing
I was developing a kind of disease
Accompanied by a periodical bleeding
It was a kind of intense itching
Not only at certain places of my young body
But also in my young mind
Being alone in bed and bath
Aggravated my condition
But most when I went to bed alone
I couldn’t peacefully sleep
As soon as I closed my eyelids
It began to itch, I began to dream
The dreams I never dreamt before
Once I was with a lanky fellow
Who was very eager and intent
To do me some doctoring
He began to examine
By touching me at various places,
Sniffing, kissing, sucking, kneading,
Biting, pinching, and blindly probing
Oh my God, I don’t know
Doing how many other things!
Entwining himself with all my limbs
Like mad he was labouring hard and heavily breathing
Yet more and more he increased my itching 
At last he brought out a gadget
Of which he was very much proud
It was long, thick and hard
He boasted it was the best in the world
And it was a sure shot
For the kind of disease I had
With a bushy base
At the head it was glistening
With some potent medicine
He said I needed it badly
Injected somewhere between my legs
He asked me to open them as wide as possible
To facilitate the deepest application
By this time my itching was so intense
I could tolerate it no longer
I readily did what I was told
The first prick was painful no doubt
But soon it began to immensely please 
Soon I almost reached pleasure’s pinnacle
And I thought heaven was not very far
Then something happened which left me totally flat.

Now this fellow who was doctoring me
He was barely sixteen
He was not only lanky but also callow
He was very keen but in skill he was lacking
His manner was very clumsy indeed
Like a glutton guzzling anything on offer
Gobbling up everything in one big gulp
Without waiting without relishing 
When pushing his gadget inside
He only followed his own rhythm
Without minding I had also a rhythm
Without knowing I had something
A secret cave full of mysteries
In its spiraling holy abyss
It could hold him in an iron vice
When in the mood and wet and slippery
It could take in the entire globe
It was like a blacksmith’s bellows
Now expanding now shrinking
Squeezing whatever went inside
Under its merciless ministrations
My friend’s gadget suddenly gave in
When my open sesame suddenly shut
My friend’s gadget began vomiting
The medicine went totally waste
Without curing my raging itch
Like a tigress which for the first time
Has tasted human blood
I pounced on the hapless fellow
Whose gadget had gone completely limp
I began to nail him and rail him
In words not to be found even in the OED
He cringed in fear and craved for mercy
I said I am going to do no such thing
You quack of a doctor, a mere kid,
You have caused aggravation without curing
I am going to kill you this very moment
Unless you do something to satisfy my itch
To propitiate me with his teeth and tongue
In a posture of a devout devotee
He knelt before my secret cave
Its musky smell made him mad
Up and down his mouth moved
Making a lot of slurping sounds
Foaming at the mouth, completely famished
Crushed between my trembling thighs
At last he slumped down totally dead.

Now that he is gone, I must say
He was a jolly good fellow
Failing to cure he made my disease chronic
Showing me the various ways
In which my maddening malady
May be effectively controlled.
Since then I have been consulting
Only experts and specialists
Having gadgets of different sizes
Having skills of various kinds
Like selection of numerous openings
Or various positions and postures
Regarding timing I am not very choosy
I do it as often I can
Sometimes I do it more than once a day.
But what a rotten lot I have
God has given me such a fucking disease
It won’t be cured till I am dead.
--------------





A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 65 of 65

  • Whenitefallz
    June 27
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Well, well. Smirk & sting producing indeed. Was like being mesmerized by snakes behind the glass, imagining a continual strike to the arm.

  • karabi
    June 25
    Edit | Reply

    < J.u.n.k.i.e

  • karabi
    June 25
    Edit | Reply

    < J.u.n.k.i.e


  • I Am Erotica
    June 21
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    this was great, but the fact that it was "underage" kids doing this stuff distracted me alot from the story, but as the story itslef, very good, thank you for entering the contest and good luck with future contests you may enter

  • Serenity-words
    June 20
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    My my

    Nothing short of perfection here my dear
    Spectacular, I mean it was just the best story ever.
    You really did a wonderful job
    Favorite line
    "A secret cave full of mysteries
    In its spiraling holy abyss
    It could hold him in an iron vice"
    ~Serenity


  • tears.of.silence
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting. What a different kind of poem. Thanks for entering the contest and best of luck to you. Kahy

  • Trixie08
    April 29

    Edit | Reply

    Must Be Contagious

    I had a disease quite similar to the one you described here. Personally I didn't find this as erotic as some others but, no one's opinion of erotica is going to be the same. Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest.

    -Please do not respond till AFTER the contest


  • Sunday Rain
    April 29
    Edit | Reply

    ...

    ... wow, it started off so good,

  • Here I Wait
    March 24
    Edit | Reply
    Very good, very nice.

  • jul
    March 23
    Edit | Reply
    Very good!!! I loved this. read it over and over.

  • MYsecondchance
    March 21
    Edit | Reply
    I though this was an Okay piece, thanks for entering.

  • Mrs LadyEnthralling
    March 8
    Edit | Reply
    you help my attention through the first story i was licking at the chop of my thoughs and i was like yea sex my thoughts give it to me then i lost intrest i have a three line theroy if your poem doesn't kick ass in the first three lines i usually don't continue you did cool only if you would have stayed on the right path
    • karabi
      March 9
      Edit | Reply

      LadyEnthralling

      Now I see that I cannot blame that lanky fellow alone who in his blind greed only rushed but could not relish. Great sex is not a ten minutes' affair.
  • the evil angel
    February 4
    Edit | Reply
    Your AN shouldn't be empty... rules? Will comment on the actual poem later.
  • MarkReeves
    February 4
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    Good luck in the contest. Very descriptive.

  • Poetryintheblood silver member
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry I must say it sure packs a punch, good luck in my contest, Josie

  • im dead - go away
    December 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First, the cons:
    Though it's not necessary, it helps to have punctuation in your piece. It just makes the flow easier to follow.
    "They were looking at me very queerly
    As if I had become a queer character"
    I dunno if you were going for something with that, but
    using the word "queer" twice in that proximity made it feel awkward. Something you might want to fix later.

    Aside from that...
    I liked this piece a lot. It was a little slow in the start for me, and it really picked up. Good metaphor throughout the piece, and I especially liked the theme of the itch.

    Erotic, something easy for someone like me to relate to, real...
    Good job with this one.
  • The D O M
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am finding it difficult to believe this is an erotic or senual poem drected to another AP poet, if you can convince me it is I shall judge it again.

    • karabi
      December 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      D O M

      I thought how about looking at sex from a humourous angle? The result was this poem. Call it what you like.

  • Zenda-Lokki gold member
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Is a bit long and I'm not a fan of the swearing. Should probably put a warning on it within the title. Maybe you'd like to remove from all the closed contests too.
    Not a bad write overall, thanks.

  • moonsail silver member
    December 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this was an interesting write great imagry, graphic almost


  • Gabrielle.
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That was HORRIBLE! HAHA NO IM just kidding, no I think you have quite an imagination. and I'll consider it for my finalists, but I have to read through the other poems. I really liked it. I feel bad that other people have criticized it, because i think it's a creative entry. I want to read more of your poems.


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, my...

    This is definitely way too long for my taste, and your option doesn't match the date provided for your chosen prompt. I'm sorry, but I will have to DQ you; better luck next time.

  • poeticcaresses
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    While I found this interesting I also had difficulty completing it. A good write but not quite what I had in mind. Thank you for entering!

  • lizwicker
    September 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lol this is great.. reminds me of black snake momba haha...


  • PrincessOfFire
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my, not my choice of poetry, but the flow was smooth,you take the readeron a roller coaster ride. Good luck on your entry. Rose

  • Night Terrors
    August 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hmmm this was very very long but well worth the read thanks for enterin

  • Midnight-x-Rose gold member
    June 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'm so sorry you have had to go through this...I wouldn't wish it on anyone and honestly, I know several people who have gone through similar things and some different things and it takes a lot to come through, which I'm glad that you did. It shows strength and determination.

  • NeverSayAddiction
    June 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    I really like this thanks for the entry!!!

  • piccola gold member
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for your entry. I am afraid it swallowed my attention span whole and I never made it to the end. I may come back to it later. What I did read was interesting.
  • karabi
    June 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This piece has been posted under option 1.
    KARABI.

  • SuicidalLover
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow....talk about long.... Some nice word choice. Thanks for entering.
    ~Kystal Angel


  • Poetryintheblood silver member
    April 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry, good luck, Josie

  • SarahEatsAirplane
    April 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    quite interesting. theres a nice bottom line to the story, that she has a disease, and doesn't really un derstand it at first (or at all) what it is all about.

    very humorous in a way.

    good luck.

  • Jonathan Wikkins silver member
    March 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very good imagery and metaphor in this, but, in my opinion, the stanzas were too long and got a bit hard to follow...
    i'm going to leave it in for now, it's your option to revise, or resubmit...
    let me know what you intend to do, i will reread before the end of the contest

    mike, aka jonathan wikkins
    • karabi
      April 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Jonathan Wilkins

      I would like it to remain as it is.

  • Moonlit-Reveries
    March 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    interesting write. I've never read anything quite like this and you overall metaphor was really unique and clever and your writing kept me hooked the whole time. le

    . Rewarded 4


  • Jade-
    February 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ha ha...funny, and very interesting. I liked this a lot...I was interested from the very start, and it kept me hooked all the way through.

    Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck!

    xxx

  • Thedamned77
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I said no F words. You're disqualified.

  • ennovy silver member
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! this lovely and long about you itch, and craving for some much needed attention. Thank you for entering our contest...... novy

  • Unstoppable
    December 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is more of a story a nice interestingly hot one!!!! I loved this best of luck in my contest

  • Prison of Lyme
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    are you on storywrite.com too? you should I think, I am for my medical mishap of a life. Lets keep in touch.?
    PoirsBaby

    • karabi
      December 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      PoirsBaby

      Thanks for the compliments, shall try to write stories.

  • Laura-Critchley
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing write.

    I have no words to express how much I like this.


  • SatanicTemptation09
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very graphic write, imagery wise. It had no mention of a holiday though. It was very interesting to say the least. The use of the analogies "gadgets" was most amusing, and also your "disease".
    I liked:
    Since then I have been consulting
    Only experts and specialists
    Having gadgets of different sizes
    Having skills of various kinds

    It made me smile.
    Thank you for entering.
    • karabi
      December 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Satanic Prodigy

      I would ask you to see my reply to similar comments made by my-masquerade. May God bless you with 'my disease' , if not already done, for reading and commenting.

  • chills
    December 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Fanny Hill

    I recommend the above piece of excellent literature. You will never look back. xx

  • my-masquerade
    December 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Doesn't really work for the holiday contest but man I like it. An interesting take on the subject. It's nice to see something different. You kept me reading. Well put. You have me intrigued now.

    • karabi
      December 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      my-masquerade

      I agree, it doesn't specifically mention any holiday, but as I have mentioned towards the end of the poem -
      "Regarding timing I am not very choosy
      I do it as often I can
      Sometimes I do it more than once a day."
      So you may say that I don't exclude holidays. Most probably I do it more often then.

  • Edna Sweetlove
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very original and interesting and I shall add you onto my fabbo-wabbo faves list and clap you.

    PS typo in spiralling (2 L's)

    • karabi
      December 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks a lot, Edna. In spiralling, one'l' is used in the US while two in the UK English. Preferences vary.

  • Twisted Temptress
    December 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I stopped reading because this isn't gross it's just erotic, and that mis not what asked for. Thanks for your time.

  • TearsOfRedForHer
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is intense. I know all too well the disease and the pain of not finding the cure for the itch. Very well done.

    And I have to say that all trough the first stanza I actually felt the itch. I'm not even going to lie. Major kudos!


  • michellemybelle gold member
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is great and hot! perfectly erotic without being vulgar
    I know of this disease...and have learned not to play with interns...only specialists will do...thank goodness there is no cure
    Michelle


  • Nephalaneous lover
    August 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    if you want your poem to remain in this contest, you'll have to give me a shorter piece...this is your warning about the rules...you are over the line limit...
    i am not making exceptions on this contest, i've done it too manytimes before...i'm sry but you have 4 days to either give a shorter version or new poem, or i wil disqualifyhave a nice day, sry to sound mean,but it's the rules
    • karabi
      August 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Justice is blind, that is, equal to all without any exception and that is what it should be. So I shall try to do as you say. Thanks.
1 - 65 of 65