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Secrets

Dark and Deep were the secrets I kept.
The longer I waited, the deeper they went.

I was gagged, bound and tied;
no words could come out.
But when they finally did,
it was with a shout.

The echo that followed shook my whole world.
A tidal wave had been unfurled.

Wave after wave, came crashing on me.
Taking my life back out to sea.










Author notes

They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has reserved forever."

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Cynthia
    April 14, 2008

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    Excellent

    WOW!!!!!!!!!!
    What a wonderfully penned piece of poetry.
    Well done.
    Congratulations on your most deserved Bronze trophy.
    VERY well deserved.
    Keep up with the great work.
    Keep on penning.
    Thank you so very much for sharing your wonderful talents with us.
    *S* Cynthia


  • mcw120588
    March 26, 2008

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    very close to perfect, i spent a lot of time deciding and this just missed there was something missing. it says I but yet felt like it wasn't quite personal. like you were holding back. the first stanza just the word deeper didnt make it in my eyes. the second stanza while short and condensced to get power lost it with the way it just said shout, perhaps a scream? then the third stanza the periods for me make it feel matter of fact which is what i think hurt this poem for me. it was as though you just wanted to tell it instead of feel it. while ive said a lot about it it is a very strong write and i think it works well. good job on it and keep it up :


  • doyouloveit
    March 11, 2008

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    this poem does fit the prompt very well it is funny how life's choices come around and around effecting us differently each time they poke their head out at us wonderful write


  • xNeonVertigoLipsx
    September 17, 2007

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    exceptional

    first off, thank you for entering into my contest! You did wonderfully with the line you chose! It really fit and did it justice. Good luck my friend


  • Ale E
    September 9, 2007

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    This is fairly good. The flow was well throughout. This reminds me of the Smile Empty Soul song OUT TO SEE. Thank you for entering. I wish you the best of luck in my contest.

    aleXox- never stop writing.


  • xCandieKissesx
    August 21, 2007

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    I like the imagery and rhyme scheme. It is has a good flow to it. Please leave your username and option in the authors notes or I will DQ. Great job! Good luck in the contest!


    • islekine gold member
      August 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks.

      Glad you liked it.
      *PEACE*

    • islekine gold member
      August 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks!

      My user name and prewrite were there...I just now added the option...
      *PEACE*


  • Plastic Dreams
    August 4, 2007
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    Thoroughly Impressed

    This has no drastic, drawn out tie to the picture unlike previous writes in this contest.


    I like it.

    It's pure energy you've gathered from the picture and a telling of the seas that creates the tragic fall of waves over waving hands at some dead end sea.



  • La Tua Cantante
    August 3, 2007
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    This is a very good write. Excellent flow and choice of words. Wonderful.


  • Olivias Violin
    August 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    wow


    • islekine gold member
      August 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Aloha!

      Thanks, I'm still not sure what I'm doing...but I am having fun!!!
      Please let me know what you think of my other poems..going to go look at yours now.
      Mahalo again,
      Islekine

1 - 15 of 15