Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

partial birth

absolute sweeping  

guided by ultrasound;

dropped into

substratum; expectant

ballooning redundant

unfurled flag signals

unripe arrival

 

sucked through collapsed cradle

twelve inch survivor 

tossed voiceless; ill-timed embarrassment

 

senses

pass over

 

blinks

waves

dismantled somersaultes
pulled through agreed system

twenty scratched weeks; separate tears 

 

toddle along now...

Author notes

Although I agree that women should have absolute choice over their bodies........the horror that is abortion haunts

swanridur

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Midnight Lace
    October 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a beautiful writing - I could read things like this here a little more often and be perfectly content. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet. ~Midnight Lace


  • AnaRexic
    October 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    powerful and unique approach...love the choice or wording...very good!


  • Tarja
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ... ... You make no sense dude.


  • shirk
    October 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Welcome to the finalist list.


  • Angel Of Heaven99
    September 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful poem. So deep and real. You have done an excellent job here.


  • happy kitty kat
    September 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    sad!, man, thats deepbut i like it


    • swanridur
      September 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your comment......glad you liked it


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    August 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow just WOW!! This piece was so strong! It was beautifully written and full of strong emotions! really deep and an expertly written poem! Thank you so much for entering!! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!!!


    -Steve-

  • lkcl
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WHOA ouch. i wasn't expecting this! dang. so matter-of-factly describing something very traumatic...


  • lindaburns gold member
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You inspired me to post OR NOT TO BE. You write of what must be the most tramatic mother/child event. Bravo. Good Work.


  • Maedes
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    unripe arrival, sucked through collapsed cradle,
    twenty scratched weeks; separate tears ...you describe it very well...a clear picture of the abortion horror
    unresponsible to their own body and blood.
    Good luck in your contest




  • RedAquarius
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The minimalist approach works well for this subject. You've stated your opinion well and with strength.

  • Eusebius
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a fine, fine poem, which brings up the unfortunate question: why should anyone have the right to kill someone else on the day of their birth? bravo... bravo... bravo..

  • JustBreathe gold member
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful write on a controversial subject. No matter how one feels about a woman's right to choose, the reality is that what happens during an abortion is a horror. With choices come realities and memories. Thank you for shining a little light onto a difficult situation.


  • sassylilpoet silver member
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great job! I disagree with abortion also. My daughter lost her son at only 19 weeks and he was fully developed, I held him in the palm of my hand, he looked like a little boy. Actually he looked more like a boy than a baby, he was beautiful. If only they knew..but I guess, as long as they don't have to see it when they kill it, it's less real, or less human. Anyhow, I'm on a tangent now, sorry. But you have a great write here, I love the ending...toddle along now. Good luck in the contest

  • Red Roan
    August 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written with a powerful message,


  • TheDemonEve
    August 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very haunting and chilling. Full of poetic talent, and very descriptive, with eerie imagery. VERY well done.

    Best of luck and thanks for entering!


  • signum-io
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like the way this work was written with as little words as possible. There are so many things that have been said with the proper choice of words. Perhaps I have also been aiming for such elegance, only in a different manner.

    Keep writing!

    - Nick (",)

1 - 18 of 18