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Never Forgotten...

Bleak eyes see nothing.

Only
skeletal shadows
of overgrown grass
abandoned swings
silently swaying
swathed in shadows.

Sunshine absent
blacked out
by wistful memories
of laughter
and love
now Lost.

But --

Never Forgotten.

Author notes

Quote: "Skeletal shadows of overgrown grass."

I miss my life. And the guilt won't go away.

A contest entry

Yeeees?

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Comments


  • DrunktankLullaby
    August 10, 2007

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    oh woww. This is stunning! It's oozing with emotion and I almost feel like these memories are coming from MY head. It's so beautiful! The imagery is so clear and well written. Your words are just perfect, and the format helps this flow so smoothly. Very nicely done. *bookmarked*


    • Shadow-Phoenix
      August 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank-you very much for your gorgeous comment!
      I'm glad you enjoyed it.


  • DancingRed
    August 3, 2007

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    My gorgeous friend, yes, this is amazing poetry. I see you're trying your hand at free verse again, and I like it.

    "Bleak eyes see nothing." -- I love the simplicity of the first line. You've powerfully stated HEAPS in these four words; it leaves no space for umms and ahhhs.

    The next section is haunting; you paint a terrifyingly real scene of wistful darkness. Your imagery is stellar; it all seems reminiscent of childhood, of things let go, of things hanging unused in the past. Fantastic use of line breaks, minimal punctuation, alliteration and sssssibilance.

    The last two lines are a ray of hope, to me; two hands still clutching the laughter, bleak eyes not given up, not given in.

    Yah, well, thanks a million for entering. This is a most beautiful poem.
    Here's hoping you're feeling okay.
    DancingRed.

    • Shadow-Phoenix
      August 6, 2007

      Edit | Reply

      Many thanks, ma chere amie.

      I'm alright. ^_^
      Glad you like my poem, dear one.
      The sibilance was accidental, but if you want to think it a deliberate use of technique, I shall not disabuse you from the notion. Hee hee hee.
      The entire poem describes going back to my grandfather's house: although nothing had really physically changed, something was still missing/lost.
      Much thanks for the bronze! I was so surprised, and it's really brightened my day - even more so that the chocolate and fire.