Flickering flames
Dance in your eyes
Passion burning your soul
And they seem to reflect the salmon sunrise
As they grow and lose control
Your firey imagination
Opens the door to a new creation
The flames crackle, sputtering
Your mind's kingdom fluttering
With wild inspiration
And the flames spread in elongation
As pure desire
Melts in the fire
Of the flickering flames
A contest entry
- Find A Feather~ by poet2angels.
475 points, ended August 9, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
lovely piece...Great imagery...
TY for entering!
Lynda
-
I liked your message. For me it was quite spiritual, and completely worth relating to the reader, I just think the relation could have been carried off with more detailed description. This rhyme doesn't work for me. I believe that it was chipper and bounced along at too merry a rate, and I think that it some of the words sounded forced to fit in with the rhyme. In other words the rhyme owned the poem, instead of vice versa. Have you considered writing it free verse? Just a thought..
Thank you for sharing this.
Good luck in the contest.
♦ ~ crisstiena
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