Eyes closed. Lips closed. Her breath stopped then....
Outside, a wren
perched in its nest
took breath, filled breast
with willing air she might have breathed,
and sang, voice wreathed
with memory
we wove while she,
still suddenly, at rest, slept on...,
the wren-song, swan-
song, light as leaf
to ease our grief.
Author notes
A "minute" poem.
A contest entry
- short poetry. by hilly.
300 points, ended August 18, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Moment in Time (contest by sinnastarr) by Sinnastarr.
590 points, ended December 31, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I enjoyed this poem. I read very quickly and intrigued me enough to give it a second read. A very elegantly written piece. I liked the lines,
"with willing air she might have breathed,
and sang, voice wreathed
with memory
we wove while she,
still suddenly, at rest, slept on...,"
Well done.
Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck.
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Thank you for the reading and the comments. I had hope for elegance and simplicity...at least one came through. And thank you for hosting the contest.
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original and captivating! :]
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Interestingly woven.
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