The sun shines bright, yet life is gray,
Just waiting for that final day.
Suffering and pain are my life,
Conflict within, my ceaseless strife.
I think of her and my heart melts,
My love for her is strongly felt.
The day she left my life was changed,
From that day on I've been deranged.
The one I love, gone forever,
I can not live through this endeavor.
The days drag on, I wear my mask,
I wished someday someone would ask.
There was no comfort through hard times,
It would have helped prevent these crimes.
From all my friends I have withdrawn,
But soon my pain will all be gone.
I hate myself, what I've become,
These dreadful thoughts, they make me numb.
I see no reason to exist,
Starring intently at my wrist.
The steel feels cold, rather soothing,
I find myself slightly smiling.
Tears now form and stream down my face,
My life has been one big disgrace.
Blood flows from my veins, brightly red,
Not much longer now, and I'll be dead.
I begin to fade, my eyes close,
My body is left to decompose.
My heart has quit, my life is done,
The afterlife has now begun.
The pain has stopped, it feels so great,
But was it really worth the wait…
Author notes
Option 3. I can't find the original image anymore, but this is close enough. http://beckawalley.deviantart.com/art/wrist-cut-4-88812443
~Justsomekracker~
A contest entry
- Any thing and everything by kimmy-kay.
340 points, ended August 3, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SIMPLE EMOTIONS =] by Mybeautyisfake.
450 points, ended August 16, 2007, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options. Points will be added later. by Nicotine Eyes.
300 points, ended November 4, 2008, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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great write x
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great write x
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This didn't stand out. While you've chosen decent end rhymes, I wasn't intrigued at all, even though I can certainly relate to what you wrote. The emotion's great, but the trite topic hindered you.
It's not bad. It's just not great.
--Cristina -
'Starring intently at my wrist," - "Starring" would be "Staring".
With the exception of the last line, I highly doubt every single line above it would end in a comma. I'm quite sure some would be blank, others would be semi-colons, or periods. Not all in commas - that's ridiculous. -
love the emotion
like the way youve worded it. really nice. x -
Well first congrats on the trophies... after... what... like 12 contests you're bound to win something eventually.
Not a bad poem but could use some work 
I think you expressed a lot of emotion in this piece that we all go thruogh at least one time or another.
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this is a sad poem that shows more emotion
and feelings than one would think a poem this
length could hold
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I must ask you to go back and correct what I asked for. I will then comment on your poem.
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Normally, I don't care for this stuff...
Suicide and all...
normally... -
great but sad write well done
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oh.. haha.
i thought this was OPTION NUMBER TWO. and i was like.. um, i deleted that a long time ago.
sorry for the mis understanding. very very well done! -
This is a great. A little hard for me to read becuase I guess you could say it contains "triggering" content.
Intense emotion and beautifully written. The rhyme scheme works but it also makes me wonder what effect this poem would take if it didn't rhyme.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. -
thank you for the entry
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wow, I this is real good! thank you for entering!
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Sad, and made me queasy at the end, i dont particularly like suicide writes. Not my cup of tea you might say. Well done though...Scott
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