Why, has your life been turned upside down?
Why, isn't your loved one the one that was found?
The questions you have are more than a few.
Even, when there are people involved you never knew.
Why did this horrible thing happen, you ask?
That question will now become your constant task.
Why, didn't someone take steps to fix the bridge?
Now it's too late, the bridge has been replaced with tears.
Oh my God, WHY?
Author notes
May God hold each one of you in the palm of his hands
A contest entry
- Minneapolis Bridge Collapse Support by x Star Dust x.
450 points, ended August 18, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Theatric
The rhyme scheme was good until the end. The emotional impact has potential, but I would have liked to see a more deliberate control of the language of the poem. For instance, you mention "a life turned upside down" which is a great conversational metaphor that you could expand on or at least make reference to at the end of the poem, and thigh would also allow you to bring in some imagery to support the overall theme, help the reader be able to see the steel beams twisting in the mind's eye, or gaze through the eyes of the construction engineer who last worked on the bridge and be able to imagine how his world has turned upside down with guilt...
Just a thought on improving from "has been replaced with tears" to something more descriptive of the many images that I know you have in your mind. Share them with us! God bless you, and keep writing!
-Paul -
At times like these I wonder where is this God that
people still turn to.
I think this poem puts into words so well, what so many must
be thinking. WHY?
Dixie C
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I really like the last two lines:
Now it's too late, the bridge has been replaced with tears.
Oh my God, WHY?
Really hits home on why things aren't taken as serious when it could jeopardize peoples lives.
Thanks for entering our contest, good luck to you. We appreciate the support! -
Beautiful write! I think a lot of people are asking that same question!



